IN THIS ISSUE

12.08.18

We’re midway through August so, much as it pains me to point out, we’re now staring down the barrel of the last days of summer. But hasn’t it been a tough one? Here are just a few of the things I learned about myself during what is set to be the hottest British summer on record. 1 I don’t need as much sleep as I’d assumed: I can achieve more than I ever thought on a week of heat-induced insomnia. 2 I am very smug about the fact that I bought two electric fans in a dark cold winter of, I think, 2010. Oh, how they laughed. They are now still stuck in a Currys queue somewhere in a futile attempt to get hold of one. 3 No matter how much rain we see in Britain, there’s nothing like an unexpected heatwave to fill us with childlike excitement about seeing some more. When a loud thunderclap broke the dry spell, the entire YOU magazine staff erupted into cheers. And rushed to the windows for a glimpse of this substance called water. 4 We must get to work, immediately, on drafting legislation that prohibits anyone raising their arm on an overcrowded sweatbox that is a London Underground train. 5 Or at least deploy teams of workers to roam the streets and hose down anyone who’s…less than fragrant. 6 I regret, like never before, moving into a house with so many floor-to-ceiling glass walls. I thought it would be chic. Actually it’s as though we live in our own personal greenhouse that I run screaming – and stripping – from every baking hot morning. 7 The frozen aisles in Tesco are, quite literally, the coolest place to be and be seen. For weeks it’s been more packed in there than any trendy nightclub. 8 I suddenly need four outfit changes a day, so I’m debuting all my Zara panic-buys like I’m Cher performing a mega-season of concerts in Vegas. 9 And yet, I still have no idea what I packed to wear on my holidays last summer. 10 Lastly, I’m going to remind myself of this note when I’m freezing on the Cornish coast in October.

“FOR WEEKS THE FROZEN AISLES IN TESCO HAVE BEEN MORE PACKED THAN ANY NIGHTCLUB”