The quesTions i am asked The mosT

Do I ever make anythIng up?

Never. I think readers can tell if you’re not 100 per cent authentic. I wish all of it had been fiction.

Who is the rock Star?

I could say I wanted to keep one area of my life private, but the truth is he set his lawyers on me, especially after the bit where I wrote his penis would need a book, not a mere column. If it hadn’t been for my Diary, I would have had a rich and famous husband. No question.

Do I regret WrItIng anythIng?

Of course. I tend to file my column, then hope by the time it’s published I will be dead/he will be dead/the internet will be down. I wrote that on my wedding day the best man took me aside and said, ‘If it all goes tits up, call me.’ Which almost lost my husband his best friend.

WorSt moment?

When I returned home to Somerset to discover my postbox riddled with bullet holes, it made national news. This led to me hiring a security firm and putting my farm on the market at a grossly deflated price. The police told me much later the shots were fired by ‘boys who wanted to see if they could get a mention in your column’.

haS It ShapeD my lIfe DecISIonS?

When I got divorced, I was living in a gorgeous Georgian townhouse in an Islington square. But life was boring after my husband moved out and I thought, what next? So I rescued a horse and moved to the country. Huge mistake.

hoW DoeS DavID StanD It?

He knew I was a columnist when he asked me out. His feeling was that writing about him was fine as long as I didn’t hurt him, which of course I did. After a row over me writing I’d emailed a man in Australia, he swore never to read the column again. But it won’t last. He’s obsessed.

hoW on earth DID I become bankrupt?

I’ve always been overgenerous in a bid to be liked. I bought my sister a cottage, which felled me. My chance at getting back on track was to do Celebrity Big Brother; unfortunately, this meant I was sacked from one of my positions, halving my income overnight. HM Revenue and Customs said I could keep the cottage and live in it but lose my lovely house in the Dales. I said I couldn’t do that to her. I lost everything.

What WIll I WrIte about for the next 20 yearS?

I always write every column as if it were my last. My friends don’t call me Eeyore for nothing.

Wat c h ! Liz Jones answers your most googled questions about her. See Instagram @youmagazine or you.co.uk