WHY I LOVE DINING ALONE BY Cosmo Landesman

I’m one of those strange people who actually likes eating alone in restaurants. The catering trade calls us ‘solo diners’. Pitying onlookers call us sad. The cruel and the callous call us losers. But I call us lucky – we know the joys of food for one.

There’s a word that sums up perfectly the solitary pleasures of eating alone: freedom. For starters, I can eat at the restaurant of my choice and not some pretentious, overpriced place that other people think is cool.

And then there’s the freedom to choose my time for dinner. I like to eat early – around 6.30pm – whereas all my friends like to eat at around 8.30pm. By then I’m usually starving or sleepy. And the freedom to arrive when I want means I’m also free to finish and leave when I want. Bliss.

When eating alone I feel able to be myself. If you’re having dinner with other people – especially those you don’t know well – you must be a better version of yourself. People expect you to be funny, interesting and full of juicy gossip.

The social pressure to perform is off so you can concentrate on really enjoying your food. Eating solo lends itself to what is called ‘mindful eating’ – being fully aware of the way your food looks, smells and tastes. Usually, your attention is more on the people or person you’re with than the food on your plate. Good conversation can conceal bad cooking.

And I really like the bit before the food arrives when I can sit back and enjoy the pleasures of people-watching: the tipsy mother, the embarrassing dad, the nervous young man anxious to impress his date, the married couples who have run out of conversation. I have a front seat at the best show in town. Sometimes you watch a comedy and at other times a tragedy. I remember observing a man who was chewing his food with a loud smacking noise that was driving his wife – I presume – crazy. She kept tutting. At the end of the meal he asked what she would like for dessert and she replied, ‘a divorce’.

It’s also much cheaper to eat on your own. No subsidising the heavy drinkers at the table. And if I want just two nice starters, that’s what I will have.

Some solo diners feel awkward about eating alone. Pre-internet, they hid behind newspapers or a book; now they hide behind smartphones and laptops. Not me. Rule number one of solo dining is to hold your head up high and survey your fellow diners with a knowing smile.

He asked what she would like for dessert and she replied, ‘a divorce’