HOW SHOULD WE DEAL WITH HER TEMPER?

I have two daughters. The younger one has always been a little fiery. When she and her partner moved abroad for a few years she left some furniture they’d bought for their rented property with her older sister and husband. However, when my younger daughter visited them recently she was very cross that they had been using her furniture as their own. When she gets annoyed, rationale goes out of

Qthe window and she didn’t seem to consider that her sister has been saving her a fortune in storage costs. Should I tell my younger daughter that she is being a little unreasonable or is it better not to get involved?

I can see why you’re wary of saying anything for fear of making the problem worse. However, I do think your younger daughter is being unreasonable.

AShe sounds as though she has a sense of entitlement, but I wonder why she is so volatile. Perhaps there is more to this, so start by telling her gently that she can often be a little hot-tempered and ask if she is anxious about anything. Anxiety is often a key factor underlying anger and volatility but when people don’t realise this about themselves, they are not sure what to do with all those raging feelings. Other factors in her anger could be jealousy or a sense of inadequacy at her sister’s more settled life. Meanwhile, your elder daughter might be used to giving in to her for a quiet life, so perhaps needs to be more assertive and set clearer boundaries with her. Try reading How to Deal with Angry People by Dr Ryan Martin to help you and your elder daughter find strategies to understand and manage your youngest’s temper.