The Scottish Mail on Sunday - You
AT THE CANNES FESTIVAL HOLLYWOOD STARS WERE INTERVIEWED BY A DOG
Messi, le Festival de Cannes vu à Hauteur de Chien.
Touché. What qualifies Messi to document an artist’s journey? He’s been on a tortuous one himself. His owner Laura Martin Contini, interviewed by GQ, said that he’s had trouble getting roles in the past because of his unusual eyes.
Acting is a fickle profession. Although he did land an ad for Pedigree before his breakout role.
I haven’t seen Anatomy of a Fall – remind me what all the doggy fuss was about.
Messi (Snoop) has a big overdose scene where he has to play dead. Critics praised his convincing tongue-lolling.
What happens?
Spoiler alert: he recovers to become a key player in a ‘did he eat aspirin-laced vomit?’ courtroom drama.
What a shame I missed a dog eating its own regurgitation… It was someone else’s.
Sounds like a poignant piece of cinematography.
Look, it might not be your cup of… sick… but the point is that audiences loved it.
Really?
Messi made it into Oscars host Jimmy Kimmel’s opening monologue where he said: ‘I haven’t seen a French actor eat…vomit like that since Gérard Depardieu.’
Which bodily fluids will Messi be consuming next?
He won’t want to limit himself artistically now that he has such massive pulling power.
How massive?
There are currently 52.3 million videos about him on Tiktok. That’s going to make producers roll over and beg.
And has it opened the kennel gates for other arthouse dogs?
Very much so. As The Guardian reports, one of the red-carpet stars at Cannes was ‘tall, blond’ and ‘leggy’.
How many legs? Four.
Thought so. ‘Fawn-maned griffon cross Kodi [playing the role of Cosmos] is the star of French-swiss actor Laetitia Dosch’s directorial debut
Dog on Trial.’
Another dog in a legal bind? It’s a thing.
What’s the thrust of this plot? Kodi/cosmos is facing capital punishment.
More ill-advised vomit consumption?
No – he’s been biting people.
Any other doggy stars rising? Black Dog, by Chinese film-maker Guan Hu, will tell the story of a dog who escapes the strays purge that preceded the 2008 Beijing Olympics. The name of its canine star is yet to be released.
So for now Messi is still leading the pack. And next? He’s in talks about a new (as yet unnamed) French series that arthouse lovers are hoping will be as novel as Anatomy of a Fall.
Will the narrative elements be thematically consistent with the avant-garde? More, say film buffs, the (lamp)post-modern.