Dealing with dilemmas? Panic not, we’re here to help
Iknow every bride has doubts about what she’s going to wear, but I’m really starting to regret my dress choice. I don’t want to wear it, but can’t afford another one either. Do you have any options that might help? Mrshowgate2b
Y&YW says Your wedding dress is probably the most photographed outfit of your life, so it’s important you feel a million dollars in your gown. If your best friends haven’t seen your dress yet, maybe organise a trying-on session, as their excitement about the big reveal may help to bring your enthusiasm back. If that fails, have a think about what exactly you don’t like about your dress, as you may be able to get it altered or styled differently so you fall back in love with it once again. Don’t worry, you’ll look amazing!
Before I got engaged to my fiancé, I always said I wouldn’t change my name. However, he is really keen for me to take his surname. He’s already said that he would compromise with me having a doublebarrelled surname, but he wouldn’t change his as well. We’re at a stalemate now – what should we do? Harriet08
Y&YW says Changing your surname when you get married is a tradition – but just that. Many women opt to keep their own family name, or, like you’ve mentioned, use both their own and their husband’s name. From what you say, it’s clear that this tradition means a lot to your fiancé, but it also sounds like he doesn’t understand how much of a big deal it is for you to change the name – and, to some extent, the identity – you’ve had for your entire life. It’s important that he does. A radical option gaining in popularity is for both partners to adopt a different surname altogether, even taking letters from both surnames to create a new one. Talk through the options to come to a mutual solution.
Matter of opinion
M y partner’s family have been rather negative about our wedding plans, saying that I’m going over the top and forcing him to have a big celebration. I feel like they’re all laughing at us and it’s making me dread the big day. Please help! Britishbride
Y&YW says Remind yourself of the reason you’re getting married in the first place – you’ve found your soulmate and you want to spend the rest of your life with him. But you need to tackle this issue together. If you feel that he isn’t as aware of the negativity you’re feeling, you need to discuss it. Do keep in mind that he probably feels stuck in the middle – but a united front is vital. Don’t be afraid to have a word with his family members and make it clear they are causing both of you unnecessary stress.
Iwas originally planning on sending out my wedding invitations around six months before the big day, but my mother is worried that people will forget about the wedding if they are sent so far in advance. Our wedding is happening on a Friday, so I just wanted to give people enough time to book a day off and make arrangements. Also, our venue needs a minimum of 100 guests or we have to pay extra, so I want to ensure that everyone RSVPS in good time. What should I do? Heidi
Y&YW says Your mother’s concern is justified – the last thing you need is people putting your invitation to one side to respond later because the date is so far in advance. We recommend that invites are sent around three months before the actual wedding. Sending a save the date a year or so in advance is a good way of flagging up w-day to your guests. It gives people time to sort out time off work, finding somewhere to stay and organising travel – and then your invitation can ‘formalise’ things later on.