Your Cat

TWIST IN THE TAIL

The story of a beat-up looking cat who was still the envy of the neighbourh­ood.

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He wasn’t the prettiest of cats. In fact, he was a downright ugly moggy. When he met up with fellow felines, he would stand out like the odd one in a crowd because of his appearance. He was definitely an individual.

The one deformed ear didn’t help and a name like Van Gogh just drew attention to the fact. Even the other ear wasn’t great, it curled in such a way it looked like a distorted sausage.

Now, what can I say about his eyes? Well, the less said the better. Not those beautiful slanted, mysterious, strangely coloured eyes you normally associate with cats. No, just two very tiny slits and black as the ace of spades.They looked as if someone had painted two strokes with a thick marker pen.

Let’s see if I can be compliment­ary about his fur. Well, I can’t really.You know when you inadverten­tly put your favourite woollen jumper in the washing machine on a wool wash because the label says it’s machine washable and when you take it out it’s hard, rough, and like nothing on Earth? Well,Van Gogh wore a natural fur coat just like that. It was quite undistingu­ishable as a cat’s coat at all!

And so, he roamed around the neighbourh­ood one large messed up pussy cat who really couldn’t care less. He strode in big jerky steps, more like a tiger than a cat, and held his strange, odd-looking head up high and proud.

OUT AND ABOUT

He would aim for the wealthy luxury estate where the enormous houses were bordered by large spiked metal fences. Here an entire secluded community delighted in parading their pampered pooches in their arms as ornaments.

Van Gogh wasn’t one of these, oh no. However, he took great delight in looming up unexpected­ly and leering at the fluffed-up fashion accessorie­s through the gaps between the metal fence posts, seeing them squirm with fright and retraction as he sent them mewing back to their mummies. Then he would march off triumphant­ly. No pink bows on his matted ears — he would have needed two very special decoration­s to fit those!

So, he wasn’t handsome, he wasn’t pampered, he wasn’t at all like any of his fellow cats, but neverthele­ss he strutted and paraded his matted fur and the one reason he was able to do this was because, despite all his many defects, Van Gogh possessed the most perfect, enviable, fluffy, adorable tail any cat could ever possess.

You would have thought he’d bought it as an

He wasn’t the prettiest of cats. In fact, he was a downright ugly moggy.

add-on from a designer outlet just to counterbal­ance the rest of him — and boy was it a beauty! It far outshone any tails the pampered fluffed-ups possessed and he knew it.

Perhaps God in His wisdom had one piece of the jigsaw left and donated it just to Van Gogh. It’s one exquisite cat’s tale that needed to be told.

 ??  ?? Van Gogh had a beautiful tail.
Van Gogh had a beautiful tail.

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