Mismatched partners
What to do when you and your horse just don’t gel
Not every horse is a suitable partner for every rider. We take a look at why it happens, and what to do if you and your horse just aren’t gelling
“If your horse’s behaviour makes you nervous of riding him, he might not be the one for you”
FIRST THINGS FIRST. It’s absolutely OK to have doubts about whether your horse is the right one for you. There are so many things to think about when buying a new horse that it’s easy to make a mistake, especially when emotions get in the way. Even experienced riders can get it wrong. Always remember that there is a horse to suit everyone — which, of course, means that your mismatched partner will be a fantastic horse for someone else. Here, international eventer Sharon Hunt shares her thoughts on partnerships that just aren’t working.
Reasons for a mismatch
“I regularly see horses and riders that aren’t really made for each other,” says Sharon. “One of the most common reasons is that the horse doesn’t suit the needs or expectations of the rider.”
It may be the case that the rider is confident, determined and competitive, but their horse doesn’t have the ability to match. “Some horses need pushing along, while others are like Ferraris and need chilling out. Think about what sort of horse suits your riding style best,” adds Sharon.
“I’m always amazed at how many children are trying to cope with sharp horses or ponies who are clearly not suitable. It’s the same with novice or unconfident adults — they are not going to enjoy a whizzy, temperamental partner.”
The other common issue is behaviour. Perhaps the horse rushes his fences, refuses, or won’t go forwards. He might nap, rear,
the experience and confidence to deal with any behaviour he throws at you, as well as the skills to retrain him,” says Sharon. “It takes time and patience to work out what sort of horse suits you best, but no horse is worth getting hurt over.”
It’s also important to consider why your horse might be behaving in the way he is. It could be that he’s in pain. Get a vet to assess the situation and advise you. Help from an equine behaviourist will also be useful in assessing his future.
Spotting the signs
One of the most obvious signs that your horse is not for you is if you don’t enjoy riding him and get anxious at the prospect of getting on. You might be spending more time on groundwork or lungeing than riding, or are asking other people to ride him instead. He could be the sweetest horse to handle — and loveable too — but if riding is what you want to do, then it’s time to re-evaluate. “I had to lunge Tankers Town before I rode him for the first six months due to him being over-girthed in the past,” says Sharon. “It took that long for me to be able to get on, but I knew he’d be good once we’d got through this, and I had the skills, experience and back-up to cope with him.”
Try riding another horse who is more suited to your confidence levels and skills
— a riding school will have something suitable. Do you enjoy it? If yes, it’s not your love of riding that’s waned, it’s the love of riding your own horse.
“If you lack confidence when riding your horse, remember that it’s not you, it’s the horse”
When Julie Brown bought Bo, a gorgeous four-year-old, he was her dream dressage partner and she had high hopes for him.
“I saw us dancing down the centre line together, me in top hat and tails, him strutting his stuff,” recalls Julie. “He definitely had the breeding and paces. “I choose him carefully, with the help of some very experienced trainers. He wasn’t the first horse I’d tried — in fact,
I’d travelled the length and breadth of the UK in my year-long search before meeting Bo. It was a very considered purchase. I had the help of my instructor (one of the UK’s best), a fantastic yard and great support from friends, so things should have been a breeze.
“There was just one sticking point. Bo was spooky, to the point where he could have made spookiness an Olympic sport. He would spook at anything, never seeming to come to terms with the apparently horse-eating objects in his view, even if it was something he’d seen a thousand times before. The less work he did, the worse he was, and I really needed a horse who I could leave for a day or two, knowing I’d be safe when I got back on.
“Although I never fell off, I started to lose my confidence. Riding became a trial and I’d avoid it if I could — I did a lot of lungeing. I tried everything — spook-proofing, sending him away for training, getting other people to ride and hack him. But I just couldn’t get to grips with his spookiness; it was the one thing on my purchase list that was nonnegotiable. Of course, he hadn’t been spooky when I’d tried him (twice).
“Fast forward four years and I’d spent a fortune on Bo, but I was hardly riding him and I felt a complete failure. We’d competed a few times, but I didn’t enjoy any of it. For two of those years, I’d known I needed to sell him, but I couldn’t give him up. He was loving and so gentle. I’d invested too much money and too much emotion, and I kept telling myself that all would come good.
“But it didn’t, and in the end I realised it was time to call it a day. I let someone else do the selling for me as I couldn’t face it, and I cried for weeks. Looking back, I was stupid to hang on. It’s been five years now and I’ve only just regained the confidence to ride again — and only on something completely sane.
“It’s a shame I did that to myself, especially as the right home saw Bo get to grand prix level pretty quickly. He didn’t care that I’d passed him on.
“It’s true what they say: every horse is right for someone. Just don’t be hard on yourself if it isn’t you.”