Why it’s hard to give him up

“When it comes to unsuitable horses, pride often gets in the way of owners making sensible decisions,” says Sharon. “Some riders just won’t give up. There may be peer pressure to have a particular horse, or they want to prove any doubters wrong, but these situations don’t generally end well for anyone.”

Finance can often be a sticking point too. “Sometimes it seems more cost effective to hang on to what you’ve got than to buy another horse, so you try to make a go of it instead. But the longer you keep the horse, the more money is wasted. It can often be better to cut your losses, even if it means having a break while you save up again.” Then comes emotional attachment.

“So much time and effort goes into our horses and we quickly become emotionally attached. He’s not just a horse, but our friend too, and we pour all our love into making sure he has the best life,” says Sharon.

“So, when things don’t work out, it’s heartbreaking and it can take a lot of courage to let him go. Some people keep hold of an unsuitable horse for years, but never truly enjoy riding, if they ride at all.” If in doubt, ask your trainer

“I think that trainers should be honest quite quickly about what they are seeing in front of them,” says Sharon. “If I can see that the person is never going to be able to ride the horse, or that he’s not good enough for what they want to do, then I’d say so — as tactfully as I can, of course. My role is to maximise the combination’s potential. Without being able to progress forwards with the client, I would feel that they should save their money, or even spend it with an alternative coach.” If you lack confidence in riding your horse, remember that it’s not you, it’s the horse. “Some riders just don’t have a lot of confidence. This is fine as long as they have the right, well-behaved, confidence-giving horse,” adds Sharon. “If the horse is too much of a handful, then it’s not the rider’s fault. She’s just on the wrong horse. It seems, though, that some people will go to extreme lengths to forgive the horse anything, to the detriment of their own enjoyment and sometimes safety.”

“We quickly become emotionally attached to our horses, so it’s understandably hard to let go”