Carers in touch
It was love at first sight when Kay and Ron Needham met in the busy world of Heathrow airport more than 60 years ago and the couple have never been apart... until four months ago when Ron sadly died.
Kay is now trying to re-build her life after ten years of caring for him but, without Ron, she says she feels, “very much alone.” “I’ve got a lovely son and daughter-in-law but they live in Spain,” says Kay.
“I was an only child and I have no grandchildren so now I do feel alone. Being Ron’s carer for so long made us exceptionally close. I never realised that being a widow would be as hard as this, but I’ve got to start a different way of life and I’m determined to do so.” When they first met, Ron worked in reservations at Heathrow airport and Kay was a young and glamorous air hostess. They were engaged after a few months and were soon married. The young couple travelled the world and although Kay gave up work when she had their son Mark, now 54, Ron loved his life at Heathrow. When retirement came for Ron in 1999, the couple began travelling and enjoying time together.
Things changed in 2008 when Ron had the first of three strokes. About the same time, he also had a leg amputated due to diabetes and Kay became his carer. “Life as we had known it changed completely,” says Kay. “Ron was a proud man and he hated being disabled. Somehow we coped but, I have to admit, caring for him wasn’t always easy.”
Ron started a group for people who had had a stroke and he enjoyed being in charge once again. The couple managed to enjoy life as much as they could and Kay tried to keep in touch with old friends until last February when Ron had a third stroke which left him unable to talk.
The couple celebrated their Diamond wedding anniversary with a party last September but in October, Ron fell and badly damaged his leg which doctors advised needed to be amputated. The news hit Ron hard and within a few days his condition deteriorated and he died. Kay says, “I’ve got a lot of friends at my church and through other groups but I have no family here so it’s down to me to make a life for myself. I’ve just celebrated my 80th birthday and that was hard without Ron. “I’ve rearranged my room so I don’t look at his empty chair and I go to a widows’ group, a coffee group and a book club. I do the teas at the stroke club Ron founded but it’s hard not seeing him there. The worst thing you can do is sit doing nothing.” Kay has been a member of the Yours Carers in Touch group and now the Forget Me Not group for four years and she says the friends she has made through the group have been, “an absolute lifeline.”