‘Take a break from caring’
Design engineer Peter Juggins has always been fit – he played cricket and golf all his life and ran the London Marathon when he was 50 – so when he suddenly couldn’t brush his teeth, he knew he had a problem. Rounds of tests revealed he had Parkinson’s but he and his wife, Sandra, felt relieved.
“We imagined Peter had a brain tumour or something more serious.” Neither Peter (80) nor Sandra (67) knew anything about Parkinson’s and they didn’t initially realise how much the diagnosis would change their lives.
“Life changed dramatically,” says Sandra, who is now Peter’s full-time carer. “Peter’s condition has gradually deteriorated, but we both enjoy life and we firmly believe what my mother used to say – there’s no such word as ‘can’t’.” Peter’s diagnosis came out of the blue ten years ago and since then, both he and Sandra have learned to live a different way of life. Peter copes by trying to live life as normally as possible. He still plays golf – using a buggy to get around – does the weeding, and cooks meals for him and Sandra. Peter urges other people looking after a loved one to allow them to retain their independence.
“If Sandra didn’t encourage me to continue to do things at home, I would feel useless,” says Peter. “I want to retain my independence for as long as I can, although I know my condition will get worse. We’ve already had a walkin shower fitted and the house is wheelchair friendly should I need it. Planning ahead has given me peace of mind.”
Peter has donated his brain to medical research after his death in the hope that it will help scientists to better understand Parkinson’s. Sandra, a retired hospital clerical worker, copes by using what some people might call ‘tough love’. “I make Peter do things, not because I enjoy seeing him struggle but because it helps him retain his independence,” she says. “I took up quilting in 2006 and I’m never happier than when I’m sewing. All carers should have a hobby. You can always learn quilting through a local U3A group.” In July, Sandra and Peter will return to the Stratfordupon-Avon hotel where they spent their honeymoon to mark their 48th wedding anniversary – but they will pretend it’s their 50th because they worry how Peter’s health may be in two years’ time.
“Life isn’t what we expected it to be, but we still enjoy ourselves,” says Sandra. “Sometimes I feel like sitting and crying about our situation, but that really doesn’t help.
“My glass is always half full and I try to find something positive in every situation. When I’m sitting at my sewing machine, I have to concentrate and I’m not thinking about anything else. Carers get angry and you shouldn’t hold anger in – I find quilting helps me release my emotions. Everyone should take a break from caring.”
‘We enjoy life and believe that there is no such word as can’t’