‘A pet can turn your life around’
Anne and Derek Jarvis met when Anne was just 18 and Derek was 28 – he was divorced with a young daughter and Anne’s mum thoroughly disapproved. “Times were different then,” says Anne. “Marrying someone who was divorced was almost unheard of more than 50 years ago, but Derek and I proved Mum wrong. We were happily married for 52 years until Derek died.” Anne (75) cared for Derek for a year before he died from prostate cancer at the age of 85 in July 2016. After his death, she became ill through the stress of caring. Like many carers, Anne put her husband’s needs before her own, neglecting her own health in order to care for him.
It wasn’t until a few months after Derek’s death that she really accepted the fact he had died and that she must face life on her own. Anne moved house to be nearer to her stepdaughter but looking back, thinks she moved too quickly and although she likes her new home, she misses some of her old friends.
Derek and Anne had always kept dogs and immediately after Derek’s death, Anne sought consolation in her little dog, Scrap. When Scrap died not long after Derek, Anne almost felt like giving up but her stepdaughter, Susan, came to the rescue, and soon Anne had a new puppy called Bertie.
Little Bertie has transformed Anne’s life. She’s so busy caring for him that she has fewer unhappy moments. Anne recommends to anyone who is feeling lonely to get a pet. “Bertie has helped me turn my life around after losing Derek,” she says. “When you have a dog, you have to make yourself go out. When you are walking a dog, other people talk to you. I’ve made lots of friends through dog walking. I don’t always know people’s names but I know their dogs!” Anne says she never realised how hard it would be to cope after losing her husband following a long and happy marriage.
“I can’t put into words what it was like to lose Derek after all those years together. I used to look at other people who had lost a husband and feel sorry for them, but I never really understood. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t possibly understand. “Now I try to make the best of life with my stepdaughter and little Bertie. When Derek was dying he said he didn’t want me to sit and cry for him as it wouldn’t bring him back. He told me to try to enjoy life and with Bertie’s help, I try to do just that.”