Mum’s garage gifts

Cassie hatches a cunning plan to get her sons to buy her something for Christmas she actually wants...

When Cassie’s four boys were small, she had cherished every grubby, handmade offering they had given her for Christmas. But now they were adults she couldn’t help hoping for something better.

“Have you tried telling them what you want?” asked her husband Joe when she was grumbling to him in the run up to Christmas.

Of course she had! In the past the dropped hints for an umbrella she could keep in her handbag had produced a huge unwieldy golf umbrella emblazoned with the logo of the garage at the end of the road. She’d asked for slippers. That simple suggestion had resulted in a giant pair of gorilla feet… also from the garage.

“The problem is, not only do the boys have no taste of their own, they do all their shopping last minute, on Christmas Eve, when only the garage is open,” she grumbled. “Despite my subtle reminders.”

“You got that hat from Nick, last year,” protested Joe. “You love it.”

She did. It was gorgeous, warm and cosy and made of the softest wool. “Yes, but I’m pretty sure Lucy bought it.” Lucy was her daughterin-law. Gifts from Cassie’s eldest son had improved no end after he got married.

“Actually… that’s got me thinking!” Her gift from her second eldest, Josh, had been pretty good last year, too. At the time she’d had her suspicions that it had actually been bought by his long-term girlfriend, Kaylee.

That was it! Cassie’s boys were rubbish at gifts. But when they had a woman in their lives it made a huge difference. Nick and Josh were happily settled. But Zach and Ryan maybe needed a little nudge in the right direction.

A week later Zach returned from an errand looking annoyed. “So I went to the garden centre, Mum, just as you asked.” “Thanks love.”

“They’d never heard of an aspedonia.”

“Oh? Are you sure,” said Cassie innocently. “Did you speak to that girl, Haley?”

“I did. She remembered talking to you. In fact, she remembered that you were less interested in plants and more concerned to

‘When the boys had a woman in their lives the gifts were much better...’

know if she was single.”

The garden centre had some gorgeous gifts. Cassie had her eye on some dog-walking wellies with little yellow flowers on. “No aspedonias?” She tried to look appropriately disappointed. “So, what did you do?”

“Actually we talked for ages and I asked her out,” Zach grinned.

Excellent, thought Cassie. Just one more son to sort out.

“Ryan?” she called. “Can you take the dog out?”

“Why me?”

“Because he’s your dog?” “OK, OK,” he grumbled.

“To the park…” Cassie said when he appeared. “…at six every night.” “Seriously?”

“He needs a routine.”

And with a bit of luck Ryan and his pooch would bump into that nice Cocker Spaniel, who just happened to belong to the girl who owned the handmade candle stall at the market. Such lovely candles they were, too.

Cassie was thoroughly pleased with herself until ‘happily settled’ Josh came home, moping.

“What’s wrong love?” she asked. “It’s Kaylee. We had a row.”

“No! Err... what I mean is, what a shame. This close to Christmas. All those parties you’ll miss...” He shrugged. “I hate parties.” Drat; he was right. Wrong son. Quickly she changed tactics. “But Kaylee loves parties. Now she’ll have to find someone else to take her.”

Josh looked alarmed. “You don’t think she’d do that, do you?” He rushed from the room his phone already in his hand.

Phew! Disaster averted! With all her boys settled in relationships, Cassie was super-excited on the big day, but when she opened her gift from Josh – a set of car mats from the garage

– she struggled to hide her disappointment. “Thanks love. These will come in useful.”

Zach had bought her an advent calendar filled with air fresheners for the car… also from the garage.

“My old banger will smell like new,” she said stoically.

Ryan had bought a car boot organiser. “It’ll come in handy for the shopping,” she said, putting on a brave face.

And Nick, the eldest, with the wife who bought the nicest gifts, gave her a pair of furry dice. She’d seen them reduced in the garage.

“What do you think Mum?” they asked. “Have we excelled ourselves?”

Cassie tried to arrange her face into a delighted smile. “Yes,” she said.

“Yes you have. As always. Thanks boys.”

“Enough you lot,” said their father. “Put the poor woman out of her misery.”

Laughing, all four sons led her to the door. Parked in the driveway was a little red car with a yellow ribbon on the bonnet. Nick handed her a set of car keys.

“From all of us, Mum. To make up for all the years of rubbish presents. Actually, we got a bargain from the garage at the end of the road...”

‘With them all settled in relationships, Cassie was super-excited on the big day’