Vanessa And finally…
Dear readers,
After 17 years off the market, I had my first bash at relaunching my romantic life in front of millions of viewers on the TV series Celebs Go Dating. I was fizzing with nerves, terrified beyond measure and surrounded by cameras poised to capture every anxiety-packed second. Some dates tanked. Others bombed. Some conversations were so stultifyingly stilted I had to beat a hasty exit. On the other hand, two in particular went rather well. There was instant attraction. Banter flowed faster than the wine. I found myself giggling, hair-twiddling and flirting for
Britain. Time rushed by. Nothing was forced or strained. Neither led to a lasting relationship, though I enjoyed repeat dates with both, but I did learn a valuable lesson.
Dating is strictly a numbers game. Make the effort to meet as many potential partners as possible. Don’t take a series of miserable rendezvous personally. There are millions of reasons you might not hit it off with a total stranger and most of them are about them, not you. I know it can be disheartening. Even if you couldn’t fancy a bloke pickled, it’s still strangely insulting when he clearly doesn’t fancy you either.
It’s impossible not to set off on a date without a tiny crumb of hope in your heart. If you don’t feel a shred of optimism there’s no point bothering to show up. You try to manage your expectations, but the little bubble of wishes that today might deliver the man of your dreams can’t be completely suppressed. So when it’s clear the fellow ticks none of your boxes and you don’t float his boat either, it’s hard not to be disappointed. After a few truly dreadful
I’m not giving up on dating
encounters it’s tempting to do a Drew Barrymore and say: “No thanks. I’ve had it up to here with romance. I’ve given up on love.” Press on. Gird your loins. Show some gumption and move onwards and upwards.
Remember it only takes one person to turn your list of dating failures into a soaraway success. There will be shocks and horrors along the way. You will show up for date three and discover he’s been married all along. A fantastic date, so magical he booked you for the next Saturday night on the spot, will be followed two days later by an inexplicable text telling you he thinks you ‘have no romantic future’. Remind yourself you never know what anyone else is thinking and he obviously has issues he didn’t care to share on the night.
Don’t let a few rubbish evenings persuade you you’re doomed to spend the rest of your life single. That’s nonsense. One day someone will crop up and your heart will skip a couple of beats. It hasn’t happened for me yet but I’m not giving up, and you shouldn’t either. I wish you all the luck in the world and the courage to keep your eyes on the prize.
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