In love with best friend

Albany Times Union - Sunday - - ADVICE - ABI­GAIL VAN BUREN

DEAR ABBY: I’m a man in my mid-30s. For the past cou­ple of years I’ve been in love with my best friend. She doesn’t know how I feel, and I know she doesn’t feel the same way about me. (She calls me the brother she al­ways wanted.) I try hard to fight these feel­ings so our friend­ship can con­tinue. She has been a huge part of my life, so los­ing her friend­ship would be dev­as­tat­ing.

My heart breaks when she goes on dates or talks about guys she may be in­ter­ested in. I know she’ll never see me as more than a friend.

To make mat­ters more dif­fi­cult, we are cur­rently room­mates and spend lots of time to­gether. My heart breaks when she goes on dates or talks about guys she may be in­ter­ested in. I know she’ll never see me as more than a friend. Is there any way I can get over these feel­ings so we can con­tinue this amaz­ing friend­ship?

— Friend zone in Ver­mont

DEAR FRIEND ZONE: It might be eas­ier to ac­com­plish if you didn’t live to­gether, and I think you should tell her why. While it may end the fan­tasies you are nur­tur­ing, I see no rea­son for it to end your amaz­ing friend­ship. Un­less you are a masochist, please do not al­low the sta­tus quo to con­tinue be­cause it isn’t healthy for you.

DEAR ABBY: One of my neigh­bors in­vited me to go shop­ping for plants at a lo­cal nurs­ery. We had gone there a few days be­fore. I drove that time; she said she would drive this time. I en­joy her com­pany and was happy to go again.

Well, we had to take two dif­fer­ent high­ways to get there, and she drove be­tween 40 and 45 miles an hour. Cars were pass­ing us left and right go­ing 65 or 70, and she couldn’t un­der­stand why peo­ple honked at her. She seemed sur­prised when I in­formed her it was be­cause she was driv­ing so slow.

It was very scary, and I don’t ever want to ride with her again.

How can I tact­fully let her know that from now on I’ll do the driv­ing? Also, can I sug­gest that she drive only on side streets?

— Scared for my life

DEAR SCARED: You are right to be con­cerned for your neigh­bor’s safety. Driv­ers like her cause ac­ci­dents as peo­ple be­come frus­trated and need to pass her.

Driv­ers are ex­pected to ob­serve the speed lim­its, and some­one who drives at a crawl when the speed limit is 65 or 70 is break­ing the law. If they are spot­ted by law en­force­ment, they can be tick­eted for it. I know this be­cause that is what hap­pened to my grand­mother when she was in her 80s. For both your sakes, please share this in­for­ma­tion with her.

DEAR ABBY: I was at an es­tate sale re­cently and saw a woman scratch the price off an item. I gave her “the death stare,” but was there any­thing else I should have done? There were no staff around that I could see.

— Un­eth­i­cal in the Mid­west

DEAR UN­ETH­I­CAL: Un­less the woman was go­ing to shoplift the item, she had to have given her money to some­one on the premises. What you should have done was find some­one who was staffing the sale and alerted him or her to what you ob­served.

▶ Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at http:// www.dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069.

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