Reality a game-changer
Monopoly needs millions of updates in today’s world
Recently, while cleaning out a closet, I ran across my childhood copy of the board game Monopoly. While I always loved playing it as a kid, looking it over I was struck by how profoundly outdated this classic game has become.
If Parker Brothers wants to attract a new generation of players, I suspect they’re going to have to make some significant updates to the game with changes that better reflect financial realities today — really, a $100 hospital bill? $150 school tax? — and especially the common practices — and shenanigans — of today’s business culture.
Among the features ripe for an update are the yellow
“Community Chest” and orange “Chance” cards in the middle of the board. Here are a few ideas for modernizing them.
Community Chest
You quietly settle a sexual harassment suit brought against you by 15 former female employees.
PAY $95 Million Chance
You successfully lobby your congressman to vote against a bill to increase the minimum wage.
COLLECT $22 Million Community Chest
Amazon announces it’s starting a new division to compete against you, causing your stock to plummet.
LOSE $400 Million Chance
Your company is flamed on social media for its disastrous record on environmental issues.
Hire a damage control P.R. firm to change the narrative.
PAY $5 Million Community Chest
You dramatically cut costs by laying off half your employees in a single Zoom call.
COLLECT $100 Million
Chance
Your company is a victim of ransomware.
To save embarrassment, you agree to the hacker’s demands.
PAY $10 Million Community Chest
You successfully fill all five open positions in your company with female employees, paying them each 15 percent less than you would have paid male employees.
COLLECT $1 Million Chance
You reclassify all your employees as “gig workers” to avoid paying health care benefits.
COLLECT $90 Million Community Chest
Advance token to GO.
COLLECT $200,000 in digital currency Chance
A group of Robin Hood investors suddenly takes interest in your stock on Reddit, causing the stock price to soar 1800 percent.
Community Chest
The Board votes to spend the entire federal corporate tax cut on stock buybacks and executive bonuses.
▶
COLLECT $500 Million COLLECT $6 Million Chance
You’re charged with insider trading after you dump all your stock right before a horrendous earnings report.
Go to Jail
(Just kidding!)