What to give as a graduation gift: A guide
Thousands of college students and high school seniors will hurl graduation caps in the air in the coming weeks. Before they mount their diplomas, many students and their families will mark the milestone and commemorate the achievement with congratulatory dinners, open houses and backyard parties.
If you’re invited to one of these celebratory soirees, you’re probably pondering what — if anything — to give as a gift. Should you give a gift or cash? If you give cash, just how much? Should you throw a little more cash in a card for a college graduate as opposed to a high school one?
Graduation gift-giving etiquette can be more befuddling than figuring out how to properly don a mortarboard, and if you’re looking for clear-cut convention, unfortunately there are no hard and fast rules, says etiquette expert Lizzie Post, great-great-granddaughter of Emily Post, co-president of the Emily Post Institute, author of “Higher Etiquette” and co-host of the Awesome Etiquette podcast. Technically, gifts are not required to attend a party, Post said.
“Some are really into graduation gifts and for others, the party and honoring the moment is the gift.”
If you’re unsure whether to bring a gift, just ask.
“You can always ask the host of the party if they are expecting gifts or if you’re unsure what to give,” Post said. Traditionally though, bestowing at the very least a card with a nice hand-written sentiment is customary. If you’d like to give more, consider cash. The closer you are in the circle, the more likely you’ll want to give a gift.
“Cash is always a great gift to give,” said Post, who added that although it might lack sentiment or seem impersonal, money is always appreciated. “I’ve yet to meet anybody that is upset when someone hands them cash.”
A 2021 survey by the National Retail Federation found that the average person buying a graduation gift was expected to spend $119. The survey found that cash was the most popular gift to give and receive.
There’s no etiquette to suggest you should bestow a certain amount or you will be lacking. When trying to decide on the amount, Post suggests to stay within your means. The monetary value of your gift should be based on your budget and your relationship with the graduate. People have different means and beliefs about what is appropriate to give.
“It’s going to be different for everybody,” Post said. “Whatever works with your budget is going to be the right amount.”
If the amount you intend to give puts a strain on your budget, it’s too much. Consistency, however, is important. If you give $50 to one niece or cousin, you should probably do the same for the others to avoid hurt feelings or family friction.
There is also no proper protocol to follow when gifting to a college graduate versus a high school graduate.
“I think that it is important to recognize the achievement,” Post said. Does the achievement warrant a bigger gift? That’s totally up to you.”
To avoid cash-gifting anxiety completely, consider purchasing a commemorative present: a piece of jewelry, a watch or books. You may even have something on hand worth giving.
“Look at what you already have and use that to your advantage to see if there’s something sentimental worth passing down,” Post said.
Prefer to purchase something new? Seek out a nice desk set, clock or engraved picture frame, but be sure to consider the age of the recipient. While a doctoral degree graduate may appreciate a new briefcase, a soon-to-be college freshman might not.
Not exactly a tenacious hard news journalist, but a dogged one when it comes to spending, I asked just once more if Post could offer a suitable dollar amount — $25, $50, $100 — to gift.
She laughed and without taking a breath promptly replied, “Nope. It’s whatever your budget can take and what feels right to you.”