Have ‘young barbarians’ at your table? Read this
When the Bodes gather with their grandchildren to eat a meal, a photo gallery of ancestors keeps watch from the wall. Their descendants’ table manners, at times, may not have been stellar.
To improve the decorum, Bob and Beth Bode decided to do some educating and came up with rules to pass down to their grandchildren, just as their elders did for them. They incorporated those rules into placemats as friendly, yet funny, reminders.
“When we first were selling these placemats, one mother said, ‘I want to buy six for my barbarian grandchildren.’ So that’s where the name ‘barbarian’ got stuck in our heads,” Bob said during a Zoom interview from the dining room in their East Greenbush home.
They incorporated those rules into “Table Manners for Young Barbarians,”their second children’s book together, having published “Gracie and the Real Santa” in 2021. They are offshoots of informal books they created for their six grandchildren over the years.
“Like my mother always said, ‘Robert, Robert strong and able keep your elbows off the table,’” Bob said.
Her meter clearly influenced the book:
“Some folks talk with food in their mouth,
I hope that you won’t do it! It’s gross and messy and most uncouth,
Just take the time to chew it.” Bob, who is retired from his job as a research scientist with the state Department of Environmental Conservation, is also a painter and decided to model the images in the book after Eric Carle’s collages. He wrote the rhyming verses with Beth, who tweaked the copy and provided suggestions and ideas. She is retired from Labcorp.
“Bob, is so full of inspiration. And I’m the more practical of the two,” Beth said. “So we work well together.”
The couple met as biology majors at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Mich., and came to the Capital Region after Bob attended Cornell for his master’s degree.
His career path stems back to elementary school.
“I was in the third grade. And we were assigned to write down what we wanted to do when we grow up. And I called the teacher over and I said, ‘I can’t decide whether I should be a scientist or an artist.’ And she said, ‘Well, Robert, you should be a scientist for your job and an artist for your hobby.’ I said ‘OK.’ So that’s what I did.”
The couple’s second act is supported by their grandchildren, who act as muses and were encouraged to splatter paint on the book’s images.
Bob recalled a certain teaching moment when the youngest, Tillie, helped herself to applesauce. “She took the serving spoon and took some for herself and then put the spoon in her mouth. My head almost exploded,” Bob said.
“Caleb, who is now 17, is by far the worst,” Beth said. “He’s in a hurry for everything.” He’s also a character in the book, along with Lila, now 13 (the children portrayed in the book are younger).
“Someday he’ll go on a date and I hope he remembers his manners,” Bob said.
The book is a way for grandparents to pass along some manners in a playful way, without overstepping, and may be a catalyst for more family time and shared meals.
“Families don’t sit down to the table together. You’re busy picking somebody up from soccer or bringing somebody to play practice,” Beth said. “Unless you eat together, you don’t stress being polite, being neat.”
“I think it’s impossible to have family dinner every night, but even once or twice a week you can share pizza and talk or just share a Sunday dinner or something,” she said.