Many ways to support sick, caregivers
DEAR HELOISE: I wanted to write in, so others might understand how to show support for invalids, sick friends/relatives, and their caregivers. Here are six hints that can help:
1. Send cards, or just a plain written note, regularly — and encourage others to do so. It means so much to receive the card, and it can remind the recipient that they have not been forgotten. Don’t expect a response; the invalid might not be up to writing, and the caregiver is likely overwhelmed already. This does not mean the note was not appreciated. Sending an email or posting on social media is not the same as a written note.
2. Send flowers (if you know they are not allergic to them) or, alternatively, balloons. They brighten a room, are a reminder of your relationship and make an uplifting conversation topic. The recipient enjoys receiving them much more when they’re alive than when deceased.
3. If you would like to visit, send a note or text to the caregiver, recognizing that there are likely schedules in place with home health care that must be the priority. Recognize that hosting company in the home also falls on the exhausted caregiver, so only offer a visit in a supportive manner and respect whichever response you receive.
4. Let the caregiver know periodically that you are willing to help, by running errands for example. Although they may not take you up on it, knowing others are offering and willing to help makes them feel supported.
5. If a family member is left shouldering this responsibility, roll up your sleeves and help. Don’t expect the caregiver to give you daily updates or reach out to you begging for help, for the invalid or for themself. Take your turn sitting with the invalid, and don’t do so “after your lunch with Sally” or “before your nail appointment.” The caregiver does not enjoy those freedoms.
If you live out of state and are unable to travel and help, then help either monetarily or through regular care packages/ gift cards for the invalid and the caregiver. At a minimum, call or text both of them in a supportive manner.
6. Friends should keep the caregiver “in the loop,” and they shouldn’t stop inviting them to things. Even though they may not be able to go, they will at least know, they were invited and have not been forgotten.