How to silence the inner Grinch
It may feel like a most-wonderfully stressful time, but try to relax and enjoy the holiday season
I have a secret.
I do not like Christmas.
The few times I’ve shared my feelings about the holiday, the look on the other person’s face says, “GET BACK SATAN.” And then the questions: “How do you not like Christmas?” “What’s wrong with you?” It’s not one of those socially acceptable subjects to hate on, like pumpkin spice lattes and Nickelback.
I don’t have legitimate reasons for disliking Christmas. I didn’t lose a loved one at Christmas (no “Gremlins” storyline — my dad is alive and well and smart enough not to try a chimney entry to our house). I don’t have bad childhood memories of the holiday.
Today, I have a healthy, happy family, a roof over my head, a job, food on the table and reliable transportation. My complaints about Christmas are really just whining. But my aversion to Christmas is not unwarranted, and it’s not just me. Take a look around you at the grocery store, the post office, the pickup line at school: People are stressed. It shows on their faces.
It’s stress created by the expense and the obligations that come with the holiday season. There’s just so much to do, far beyond the religious aspects of the holiday: office parties, school parties, decorating, cooking, baking, visiting with family and shopping for gifts — all on top of life’s regular obligations. According to a 2013 Pew Research Center study, 92 percent of Americans celebrate Christmas. That’s a lot of people packing into the
grocery store. And you’re supposed to be happy about it, too. Joyful, even.
Although Christmas has religious origins, research also shows fewer Americans consider it a cultural holiday, particularly younger Americans. Nine in 10 millennials told Pew they celebrate Christmas. Just 4 in 10 described it as a religious holiday. I am not religious, but I respect others’ beliefs. Christmas was meant to be a birthday celebration (with a lot of non-christian traditions thrown in), and I love birthdays.
Just thinking about what I need to do in the next couple weeks makes me tired. Here’s the thing: Griping about Christmas, crowds and out-of-control commercialization will not change anything. Taken separately, I like parties, shopping, decorating, baking and gift giving. Although there’s a lot of advice out there about saying “no,” to reduce stress (don’t send cards; don’t make cookies; agree to one party, not all of them), I don’t want to give any of those things up. Instead, I came up with a few rules for myself to get through the holidays and keep my inner Grinch in check.
1. Don’t step on anyone else’s joy. Plenty of people love Christmas. They put their trees up right after Halloween and crank the Christmas music. If it makes you happy, go for it. I don’t have to like it, but I shouldn’t get in the way of other people’s holiday spirit.
2. Enjoy the small things. Sometimes a sip of my latte contains the perfect blend of tea and foam and it’s the nicest thing I’ve got going on that day.
3. Experiences are better than gifts. This is a tough one. One year I gave donations to charities on behalf of members of my family, and it went over like a lead balloon. Many of us are compelled toward things, but we have too much stuff. As a parent, I’ve come to accept that grandparents want to watch their grandchildren unwrap stuff under the tree, but every year my husband and I try to cut back on the toys. My kids have enough stuff. I prefer gift cards to the movies, museums, trampoline park — things my loved ones can experience together.
4. Appreciate and give. I am lucky and I know it. So many others don’t have a life as good as mine. Stop complaining. Many people can only look at the huge displays in stores and the relentless advertising, because they struggle just to feed their children, let alone buy presents. So I give, whenever possible. Money, time and compliments.
Lastly, a thought for you, my fellow Grinch. I see you. I hear you. We’ll get through this.