A new way for the Cuomos to put their talents to use

To: Andrew and Chris Cuomo From: Vince Mcmahon, chairman and chief executive officer, World Wrestling Entertainment

Re: An Extraordinary Opportunity

Gentlemen. As I’m sure you know, the WWE is the world leader in premier sports entertainment.

We are now in the process of planning our annual flagship live event, Wrestlemania XXXIX. It will be the biggest and greatest

Wrestlemania ever!

That’s where you come in. We believe it would be in both our financial interests to make The Cuomo Bros.™ a big part of this event.

Andrew “The Hands” Cuomo will become the greatest heel in the history of wrestling! You will dominate your opponents using a combination of bullying tactics, back-stabbing, and underhanded chicanery. Your signature finishing move will be the Grope-adope™, a below-the-belt maneuver, details of which are still being working out by our lawyers.

Your manager/adviser will be Chris “The Mouth” Cuomo, who will inflame fans with deceptive fast-talking interviews and twisted-logic arguments defending your moves in the ring, no matter how shady or illegal. Chris will also surreptitiously interfere in the matches, when necessary, to desperately try to save you from being pinned to the mat.

Worried about your age, flabby physical condition or lack of wrestling abilities? Don’t be! None of these has ever been a disqualifier for WWE wrestlers.

I’m confident that by the end of Wrestlemania, you will have made so much money, any leftover campaign contributions or employee severance pay will seem like chump change.

So, gents, it’s time to suit up! I’ve taken the liberty of including some custom sequined tights — one pair with the word “Guv” on the crotch and the other sporting the CNN logo on the seat.

Call me! Call me! Sincerely,

Mr. Mcmahon

PS: Still not convinced? I direct your attention to Wrestlemania XXIII, where one Mr. Donald Trump was a main participant. We all know how well that worked out!