THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Curiosity rover toured Mars on six wheels, wielding two picks, a drill and a laser gun. Everyone loves robots. We loved them on “The Jetsons,” we loved them on “Star Wars” and we love them on Mars. It’s got Mitt Romney’s advisers urging him to be more stiff.

Huffington Post claimed Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital was funded by people connected to Salvadoran death squads 30 years ago. That was a nasty crew. After working with them awhile, Mitt Romney understandably felt that firing people was the middle way.

Barack Obama put up a raffle giving a donor the chance to shoot hoops with Michael Jordan in New York. It’s a no-lose proposition. Whoever donates $50,000 gets to shoot hoops with Michael Jordan, then win it back playing golf with Michael Jordan.

Nancy Pelosi accused the GOP of not caring about food safety Tuesday, and called the Republicans the E. coli party. Food safety is overrated. As long as paying customers can get their hands on rotten tomatoes and rancid fruit, beginning comedians will never starve.

President Obama attacked Mitt Romney as Romney Hood on Monday, then the next day, his ads said Mitt killed a guy’s wife, and on Wednesday they said Bain was financed Salvadoran death squads. Every day, he tries to divert attention away from the economy. Barack Obama’s been ordered to join the Society of American Magicians or face a huge fine.