THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Bill Clinton released a statement saluting NBA player Jason Collins for coming out as gay. The media ate it up. Being a Democrat means believing Jason Collins’ sex life is everybody’s business while insisting that Bill Clinton’s sex life was nobody’s business.

London bookmakers report huge action from betters on the name of the royal baby born to William and Kate. The stakes are huge. Pete Rose just offered to bribe Prince William into telling him the baby’s name and now he’s banned from cricket.

Michael Jackson’s family’s negligent death suit against AEG went to trial. His death was all too typical in L.A. After dozens of plastic surgeries, nose jobs, cheek implants and botox injections, his family did not know whether to bury him, cremate him or recycle him.

Supreme Court Justice Steven Breyer had shoulder surgery after he fell off his bicycle again. He’s had two previous surgeries for prior bicycle crashes going back 40 years. His medical chart is kept in a folder at Walter Reed marked Breyer v. Gravity.

The Boston Herald said the Tsarnaev family receved $100,000 in welfare in cash, food stamps and subsidized housing. The Tsarnaevs ruined it for everybody. Deserving families can no longer use their EBT cards for fertilizer and fuses.