THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

NBA’s Jason Collins came out as gay, then it surfaced that he’d been engaged to a beautiful woman for eight years. She told reporters she never had a clue he was gay. Tom Hanks immediately conceded the Tony Award for Best Actor to Jason Collins.

The FBI nailed a Mississippi karate teacher for mailing ricin to President Obama and framing an Elvis impersonator. Obama may invoke his Syria Doctrine. It holds that it’s OK to prosecute someone for using chemical weapons, as long as no one is killed by them.

The FDA ruled the morning-after birth control pill will be available over-the-counter to women age 15 or older. It’s hugely popular. Another drug company is trying to invent a morning-after pill for men. It changes your DNA and your phone number.

Boston cops arrested two illegal aliens from Kazakhstan for helping the Tsarnaevs cover up after the bombing. The bombing may have been a rogue operation, but the cover-up calls for a massive U.S. military retaliation. For crying out loud, Kazakhstan has oil.

The White House said it won’t silence any Benghazi attack victims from testifying in Congress. They were attacked by al-Qaeda, and the White House called it a spontaneous protest against an anti-Muslim film. We all kidded George W. Bush’s pronunciation of nuclear, but every time Barack Obama tries to say Islamic radicals, he pronounces it NRA.