Blush draws unwanted attention
DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with blushing. Whenever I’m the center of attention, even if it’s with just one other person, my face goes bright red. This even happens when I’m not feeling embarrassed.
I’ve learned to cope with the feeling of my face flushing. What I’m having trouble with is people’s comments about why my face is so red. I’ve never been able to come up with a good response. Telling them I’m not really embarrassed is met with skepticism. Please help. — RED-FACED IN MEMPHIS
DEAR RED-FACED: My advice is to be upfront and tell the questioner that you don’t know why it happens, but you’re not embarrassed. As you already know, blushing can happen if someone suffers from a social phobia. In cases like that, counseling and support groups can help. However, because you find it happening even when you are not pressured or embarrassed, discuss it with your physician to be sure there isn’t an underlying physical problem.
DEAR ABBY: After a year of separation and divorce, I have decided to dip into the online dating world at 45. My plan was to carefully select three to five men over the next few months and just date, without diving into a relationship or into bed.
To my surprise, the first man I met, “Darren,” is a great guy. He treats me wonderfully, is respectful, makes me laugh, and I love spending time with him. Now I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone else. But I am forcing myself to stick to “the plan.”
Darren is aware of this. He respects my decision, but says he’ll convince me to choose him. Am I making a mistake by continuing to date others? I have real feelings for Darren and feel awkward about continuing with my plan. Any thoughts? — CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC
DEAR OPTIMISTIC: If you hadn’t met someone as compatible as Darren, I would say full speed ahead with your plan. But if you feel awkward going out with others, then you shouldn’t.
This is not to say you should rush into anything with Darren. It takes time to really get to know someone. Take the time because in the early months of a relationship, both parties are in the “selling” phase. You can always decide to go back to Plan A.