Alcohol myth starts talk with teens about drinking

It’s a good time of year to take up topic with our youngsters

CHICAGO — An altercation was rising in the living room where my two teen sons were getting on each other’s nerves near the end of a weekend of marathon TV-watching.

I was summoned by my older son, who needed the voice of reason to prevail in an argument he was having with his kid brother:

“Mom,” he whined, “Come in here and tell him that vodka tampons up the butt is a thing.”

Vodka tampons ... in the nether regions? A thing?

This is what it’s like having teenagers in the year 2015.

“Where did you hear this?” I asked incredulously, as my 13-year-old squealed with grossed-out delight.

“At school, in health class,” my high school sophomore said. “A kid brought it up, and the teacher was telling us that it was really dangerous because the alcohol gets into your bloodstream quicker and it’s bad for you.”

I had not heard of this particular phenomenon and was taken aback. Naturally, I immediately Googled it.

The search came up with what at first seemed like legitimate news coverage, from the likes of ABC and CBS affiliates, calling it “butt-chugging” and detailing cases in which teens and others had been poisoned by this form of intoxication. It looked legit.

But after a quick trip over to Snopes.com, the myth was debunked. One particularly intrepid Huffington Post reporter tested it out and reported on it to thoroughly disprove the story.

It turns out the tampon tale was the product of overactive imaginations, reporters with a story too good to be checked out and teachers who get all manner of craziness thrown their way by students who sit up and listen once they hear a shock-bomb.

But what better way to talk about alcohol use and abuse than by diving into the topic and learning a about how the body metabolizes alcohol?

Once we got over the giggles, my sons and I learned from Snopes that alcohol “is partially expelled from the body via the lungs. Once liquor is in the blood, at least some of it gets breathed out, which is how Breathalyzers measure blood alcohol content.”

Another good bit of information to share with kids is that, according to researchers with the Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, alcohol is the most commonly used drug among youths in the U.S. and is responsible for the deaths of about 4,300 underage people each year.

This fact is for parents — one I didn’t know and unnerved me because I still think of my eighthgrader as a little kid: Approximately 33 percent of eighth-graders and 70 percent of 12th-graders have consumed alcohol, and 13 percent of eighth-graders and 40 percent of 12th-graders drank during the past month.

Last, alcohol-related rumors that sound ridiculous are sometimes true.

Powdered alcohol is, indeed, a thing.

Maryland lawmakers passed bills temporarily banning powdered alcohol, for which the U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau recently approved labeling after a scientific review by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration OK’d it.

Bans on the substance are being pre-emptively sought across the country before the product hits shelves, to avoid the easy availability of what U.S. Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y. called the potential “Kool-Aid of teen binge drinking.”

Whether we’re dispelling myths for our kids or warning them away from real, if highly unlikely, threats such as the widespread availability of powdered alcohol that could easily be slipped into drinks or onto food, we need to talk with them about alcohol and the dangers of drinking.

It’s that time of year: Kids are zoning out at school, warm spring night parties are starting to come together, and proms, graduation celebrations and class outings are giving youngsters more opportunities to make choices that might harm them.

Now is the time to start mentioning tidbits about peer pressure, the dangers of following friends into bad decisions, about taking responsibility and about safe behavior.

If that’s too awkward, try bringing up butt-chugging — that’ll get their attention.