Ticking off co-workers

Manager approved prepping for marathon over 2-hour lunch break, but not coordinating with fellow workers was a serious oversight

DEAR J.T. & DALE: I recently lost over 100 pounds. My whole office watched me transform myself. Now, I’ve started to seriously train for my first marathon. I’m working with a trainer and this means two-hour lunches. I make up the time on weekends, with approval from my boss. However, it’s clear that my co-workers aren’t happy: They’ve made comments about how long I’m gone; someone scheduled a meeting for when I was out and told me they were tired of working around my schedule. How do I get their support? — Tyler

J.T.: I’m sorry, but I can’t support you. I applaud you for losing weight and finding a new passion, but getting your manager’s approval was just a start. You should have included your peers in the discussion, asking what you could do to make sure their needs are met.

Dale: Even so, I would not have expected full sympathy. I was once in a similar position. The owner of the consulting firm where I was working wanted to renegotiate my contract, backing down from the bonuses I was earning. Because I’d started writing a new book, I agreed to a four-day workweek as part of our negotiation. I thought everyone would support me; after all, the book was a dream of mine and everyone knew I’d taken a pay cut to make it happen. Not a chance. My co-workers seemed determined to schedule key meetings on my off day and, if I complained, I got some version of: “Aw, Dale might have to come in on a workday. Poor thing.”

J.T.: However, Tyler, you have one big advantage in trying to turn attitudes around: Your situation is temporary. Meet with your co-workers individually and take responsibility for having made a mistake by not coordinating with them. Let them know that you are accountable and will do whatever it takes to make it work. By emphasizing that there is an end date — the day of your marathon — you have a chance of winning them over.

Dale: Or at least of having them put up with it. If they continue to undermine your efforts, I think you have to climb down. Train before work or after and, instead of being resentful (which will be the natural tendency), let your teammates know that you cared enough about them to change your regimen.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I got an offer for a job I really want. One problem: The salary is $5,000 a year below what I need to pay my bills. I see two options: Turn down the job or find a part-time job to make up the difference. Both of those make me sad. What do I do? — Kim

J.T.: There is a third option: Ask for more money! Contact the person who extended the offer and say: “I am excited about the job and that’s why this call is very difficult. I’m stuck, because the pay is lower than I can afford to take. I would have to get another job just to cover my bills. I hate to do that, because I want to give 100 percent of my attention to the new job. Is there any way the company would consider raising the salary? I promise to make it totally worth it and to prove to you that it was money well spent.” There’s nothing to lose and, if they really want you, I don’t think they’ll hesitate to find the money.

Dale: Let’s hope that happens. But before you have that conversation, you need to feel confident about where you stand in the job market: (a) Have you previously been overpaid, or (b) is the new company shortchanging you? If it’s the latter and they refuse to come up, you need to consider turning down the job. A cut in pay affects more than your budget; it alters your monetary trajectory. The issue isn’t just paying next month’s bills, but about your future income stream. A cut in pay can be a great investment in your future, setting you up for greater success, or it can be a defeat that takes years to overcome.