Best to keep boss informed on new-job offer

Take him up on his offer of assistance; it might just lead to better opportunities where you are employed now

DEAR J.T. & DALE: My boss always says that, if we want to leave and find a new job, we should tell him and he will help us. Recently, a co-worker resigned without giving notice. The boss was so upset that he barely talked to her and wasn’t there on her last day. Here’s my dilemma: I got contacted out of the blue for a job. It sounds promising. I’m afraid to move forward without telling my boss, but I don’t want to upset him if it’s something I’m not interested in. What should I do? — Simon

Dale: The first thing to decide is whether the boss’s offer is him being open and helpful, or if he’s cynically manipulating employees for his own convenience. If it’s the latter, you have to worry that your openness will lead to his replacing you on his terms.

J.T.: Let’s assume the best. Still, I would go to the interview first. You should know after one interview if you are interested in the job. If so, then you can set up a meeting with your boss and explain that you weren’t looking, but that an opportunity came to you. Then you can add, “I doubt anything will come of it, but I wanted you to know, although I admit to being worried about saying anything — I don’t want you to be upset.”

Dale: But, if we’re assuming the best about the boss, why interview first? The boss says he wants employees to be candid and here’s your chance, Simon. If you merely slip out to the interview, it’s quite possible he’ll find out. We hear stories all the time of employees being oh-so-discreet about going on an interview, but then the current boss hears from some supplier or friend, “I saw your employee the other day at Competitor Corp.” You lose all credibility. On the other hand, if you go to the boss and confide that this job possibility came up, it might open up a conversation that leads to a new assignment with your current employer.

J.T.: So, Simon, Dale and I agree on including your boss in your interviewing; we just disagree on when to have that conversation. Either way, I hope your boss will be delighted that you confided in him. Prepare to have a conversation about what aspects of a new job intrigue you and be ready to discuss changes in your current job that could make the interview irrelevant.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I recently got invited to speak at an industry conference. When I told my boss, she seemed really jealous and said: “Why

you? I should be the one speaking.” She said it in a joking tone, but I don’t think she was joking. When I asked her if I could do the event, she told me I’d have to take vacation time. I was shocked. I think this is a really good opportunity for me to represent the company. I think she’s just trying to keep me from going. What do you think? — Nicolette

J.T.: I agree with your suspicions. Most companies are happy to have employees represent them at conferences. That said, I wouldn’t advise trying to push back. She made up her mind and trying to change it might anger her.

Dale: True. If hers was an emotional reaction, arguing about it risks making it more so. That’s why I’d suggest going to her and telling her you agree that she should present, and then inviting her to be co-presenter. Most conferences welcome a “twofer,” especially if they also get a more senior presenter.

J.T.: That might help but, either way, definitely go and present. Speaking is a wonderful addition to your résumé and helps solidify you as an expert in your field. If you end up going alone, I would play down the event with your manager and, upon returning, tell your boss it wasn’t a big deal. Also, while you’re there, suggest to the organizers that she’d be a potential speaker at the next conference. If they invite her because of you, she’ll change her tune.