THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Donald Trump ripped Ted Cruz for spreading a false report as the caucuses started that Dr. Ben Carson had dropped out. The good outweighed the bad. The same day, Donald Trump was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize after he didn’t kill whoever told him he came in second in Iowa.

Ted Cruz mailed official-government-looking notices to Iowa voters making it appear that it was a crime not to vote in Monday’s caucuses. It was a dirty trick, but not quite a crime. Its success propelled Cruz into the weekend with a brand-new campaign slogan, Nixon’s the One!

North Korea’s dictator continued rattling his saber at the United States, South Korea and Japan. He announced that North Korea will conduct a long-range rocket launch this weekend. This gives everybody within a threeblock radius of the launch site a heads-up.

Mexico reported that remittances from the U.S. to Mexico totaled $25 billion last year. That’s more money than the nation’s oil revenue. How far has the oil market fallen when day laborers standing outside the Home Depot are pulling down more cash than Exxon oil executives?

The National Chicken Council released a report estimating that Americans will eat over a billion chicken wings on Super Bowl Sunday. It happens every February. If Americans have one cruel streak, it’s that we love to give next fall’s Thanksgiving turkeys a false sense of security.