THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

Michael Jackson’s daughter, Paris Jackson, led TV cameras into a tattoo parlor in Los Angeles where she had the image of her father’s face tattooed on her arm. It was a wonderful gesture. However, she was warned that it may turn whiter as she gets older and the nose might fall off.

Charlie Sheen was investigated by LA police for threatening to have his former fiancée killed in a recorded phone call. He’s been volatile lately. Sheen’s producer told him he was giving him an 18-year-old escort for his birthday, and he flipped out when it turned out to be a car.

Hillary Clinton ridiculed Bernie Sanders’ campaign promises, calling them unrealistic and unaffordable. She’s also returning to her centrist Methodist roots. In the last debate, Clinton said that several times a week she speaks to God, but never for less than $200,000.

The London Mail reports that police in Germany are asking Germans not to wave at President Obama or his motorcade when he visits Berlin later this month. It’s obvious why. If the German people extend their right arms for everybody, it just cheapens it when they do it for President Trump.

Donald Trump said he would force Mexico to pay for his border wall by threatening to bar the billions in wire transfers made from the U.S. to Mexico. There’s really no middle ground in the cultures of the two countries. His New Year’s resolution was to learn Spanish, but that only lasted about dos weekos.

Argus Hamilton is host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.