THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

New York police released a notebook kept by bomber Ahmed Khan Rahami, whose family owns a fried chicken restaurant in New Jersey. He intended to kill some Americans with pressure cooker bombs. He simply lacked the patience to kill a lot more Americans with fried chicken.

New York’s disgraced former Rep. Anthony Weiner was caught sexting with a 15-year-old girl. This will help him when he runs for Congress again. He can do his door-to-door campaigning at the same time he is required by law to go to each house in the neighborhood to let them know he is in the area. Hillary Clinton fell behind Donald Trump in the Fox News presidential poll in Ohio, Nevada, Florida, and North Carolina. It just never ends. Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson is at 8 percent, and Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein is polling at 2 percent, tied with skim milk.

Hillary Clinton diagnosed Donald Trump as paranoid for ever doubting that President Obama was born in the U.S. We’re all a little bit paranoid. The other day, I thought that someone was talking about me because my ears were burning, but then I realized I was talking on a Samsung phone.

Donald Trump said he thinks that giving police wide authority to stop and frisk people can help reduce black-on-black crime. This is big news. Donald Trump is finally reaching out to black voters, but it’s to check them for weapons.