Wife tempted by outside offer
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been in a committed relationship for 19 years, and have been married for three years. My husband is wonderful, except he has absolutely no sex drive. Mine is off the charts.
I have met another man who is in a loveless marriage. He says they don’t have intimate relations, and she knows he has had “flings.” He has asked me to be his newest “friend with benefits.” He’s attractive, employed, and wants only a physical relationship. (I suspect their marriage is tied to his business, but I’m not sure.)
I’m honestly tempted, because I’m lonely in that regard. No marriage is perfect, by any means, but am I biting off more than I can chew even if I get my husband’s permission (which he would give), and assuming this man is telling the truth about his wife? What to do? — DESPERATE IN THE NORTH
DEAR DESPERATE: While some open marriages have been known to work if the husband and wife are willing, I hesitate to recommend it. You describe yourself as desperate. You MUST be desperate to consider becoming someone’s latest “fling.”
Did your husband’s low sex drive exist before your marriage, or is it something new? If it is recent, there may be medical help for his problem — if he is willing to talk to his doctor about it. Please suggest it before you do anything else.
DEAR ABBY: My husband’s 67-year-old sister recently borrowed a large sum of money, but my husband told her not to worry about paying it back. They both receive Social Security benefits, but her payments are substantially larger. She supports only herself. His check supports us both.
The problem is that for the past few months she has been borrowing money she promises to pay back, but when the time comes, instead of repaying it she asks for more money. We can’t afford it, but he can’t seem to tell his big sister no, and it’s causing problems.
I love my husband dearly, but I’m beginning to resent his sister for taking more money from us each month, and him for giving it to her. If I step in, I will be the bad guy. What is the best way to handle this situation? — GOING BROKE IN THE WEST
DEAR GOING BROKE: Step in and be the bad guy. Tell your husband’s sister she won’t be getting any more money unless she pays back what she has already “borrowed.” Be prepared to stand your ground.