Plotting against ex keeps woman stuck
DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for five years, yet I can’t seem to make headway. I constantly obsess about my failed marriage and the fact that my ex has moved on and remarried. I plot every day how to make his life miserable, which gives me some relief. I have been to counseling, but can’t seem to move forward. I don’t want to be stuck in this rut forever. Please help me.
— CAN’T GET OVER IT IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR CAN’T: The quickest way out of the rut would be to find another therapist and get more counseling. Clearly, the first one didn’t help you.
Plotting to make your ex’s life miserable is not the answer. Acquiring the tools to make your own life better is the healthy, constructive way to go. And while you’re at it, keep busy with activities you enjoy so you’ll have less time to fixate on your situation.
DEAR ABBY: I am married with two small children. Last year, my job of 18 years was outsourced overseas. Since then I have had an opportunity to go back to school and further my education. It sounds great, and I know a lot of people would jump at the chance, but I’m miserable. I hate going back to school.
My husband, “Clay,” is insisting that I finish so I can get a high-paying job. I’d love to stay home and care for our kids, one of whom has highfunctioning autism. Clay has never been a good provider. Paying the bills has always been up to me. Everyone says I should stick it out and graduate, but I feel like I’m neglecting our children and I’m grumpy all the time. I feel like a horrible mom.
There is no way to lighten the class load. What should I do? Quit and seek a job at which I can work a normal day and then go home and care for my kids? Or tough it out and be miserable for another year? — STUDENT STUCK IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR STUDENT: To stay at home and care for your children would take the cooperation of your under-providing husband, and he’s unwilling to do that. I don’t think you have much choice other than to continue your studies and return to helping support your family financially — including him.
DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for your readers who take prescription medication. When they are finished with it, they should peel the label off the bottle, stick it to a piece of paper and send it through a shredder.
These labels contain a lot of information. If they fall into the wrong hands, they could become shopping lists for drug addicts and our landfills could become their next source. Better to be safe than sorry, if for no other reason than privacy. — CHET IN KENTUCKY DEAR CHET: I agree!
DEAR ABBY: My son was married twice to different women. I had two daughters-in-law. He is now married to a man. Is his spouse my son-in-law? — MOM IN MAINE
DEAR MOM: Yes. Refer to him as your son-in-law and, if your son is finally happy with his spouse, your “son-in-love.”