Co-worker uses tenure to co-opt new hire’s boss
DEAR J.T. & DALE: I just started a new job. There is a woman who has worked in our department for 20 years. She isn’t my boss, but she acts like it. She is always bossing me around. I asked a co-worker about it and he said she always does this to the new person. I’m close to losing my cool with her. Any suggestions for getting her to back off? — Chantal
J.T.: I would sit down and have a conversation with her about how she is making you feel. Explain that you respect her tenure, but that you don’t feel comfortable taking direction from her when you don’t report to her. Then explain that, from now on, if she asks you to do something out of your scope of work, you’ll be checking with your boss first. Yes, this may cause her to be angry with you, but it sounds like you are so frustrated that you won’t care. She may act annoyed in the beginning, but stay positive and do your work as well as you can; hopefully, she eventually will back off when she realizes you won’t take her bullying behavior.
Dale: No, no. Whoa. That’s the perfect formula for worsening the situation. As a new employee, you start by decoding the politics of the place. When your co-worker gives instructions, instead of reacting with some version of “You’re not the boss of me,” try asking yourself, “Is she working for or against management?” After the decades-long shrinking of middle management, there are plenty of de facto managers in the workplace. (In the lexicon of the New Economy, “de facto manager” is “someone doing management work but not getting paid for it.”) If she’s been around 20 years, even if she didn’t make the hiring decision to bring you in, there’s a good chance that she has the influence to make the firing decision. You want to win her over, not tell her off.
J.T.: Sure, OK, it’s good to puzzle out the politics of a place. But after all of that, I’m betting that you’ll be back to the same frustrations, and that’s when you can ask your co-worker to grab a cup of coffee and have a limits-setting conversation.
Dale: I don’t think it will come to that. Start with a learner’s mind and keep it open. I’m betting you and your veteran co-worker will soon become allies. Let us know how it goes.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My employer just got a major contract. I know I’m going to be asked to play a big part in the execution. I’d like to ask for a raise. When is it appropriate to do so? — Ken
J.T.: When your boss sits you down to go over your new role, at the end of the conversation, you should say: “I’m very excited about this, and I can see it’s more work and responsibility. May I ask if a raise has been factored in for all that I’ll be taking on?” If your boss says “no,” then you can say, “OK; can you tell me how we can plan for me to be able to earn an increase and how long it might take to get it?” That way, he knows you aren’t backing down and want to find a way to make more money.
Dale: I agree. You are in a strong negotiating position, one you don’t want to waste. Moreover, I’d suggest that you work to strengthen your leverage before the conversation with your boss. Start immediately. Sit down with the co-workers who brought in the new client. Research that new customer’s organization. Perhaps you can spot connections to people in that customer organization, ones you’ve already met in professional organizations. Here’s my point: You don’t want to sit back and wait to be told your role in this expansion; no, you want to create your future. As it stands, the company’s revenues will grow, but will you? You need to make sure that you are not just angling for more money, but that you’re learning and growing, and that you’re worth more to your expanding organization.