Selling a house is harder than buying
Q: I’m selling my house, and it has been a really painful process. First, I had to come down on my price. Then, I had to fix a bunch of things I’ve lived with for years. Now, I’m dealing with surprise repairs that have come up just before closing. Why is it so hard? It was much easier when I bought the house I’m moving into. We didn’t have any of these issues. They just did the repairs I requested and we were done.
A: You bring up a very interesting issue. Of course, every contract is unique, even if you’re involved in both of the deals. You’re working with unique people on the other end of each, which influences how smoothly things go. But most importantly, you’re on different sides when you buy and sell. I know that sounds simplistic, but the roles are extremely different and therefore affect you in unique ways.
As the buyer, you initiate the negotiation. You bring the seller an offer (often much less than they wanted) and ask for the exact terms you’d like. Sometimes the seller says “yes,” but often they put forward a counter, negotiation ensues and a compromise is reached. Sometimes, you find a house you love so much you give the seller a lot of leverage in the negotiation, but otherwise the seller often needs the buyer more (unless it’s an aggressively competitive seller’s market) and is more willing to make compromises. In this situation, it’s obviously more advantageous to be the buyer and makes that side of the transaction more exciting. The seller’s side (as you’ve discovered) is full of compromise and work.
After the offer is negotiated, the buyer gets inspections and sends a long list of repairs. As a buyer, it feels good to advocate for yourself. As the seller, the person who just got you to take less money for your house is now asking for a whole bunch of repairs. I’m sure you did this to the seller on the house you just bought. You didn’t think about how the seller was feeling. You were trying to make sure the house was in good working order and get the seller to fix as much as possible. You didn’t have any of the “issues” you had on the sale of your house because you were the buyer. Unless you bought the house “as is,” I can all but guarantee the seller of the house you purchased feels you did have “issues” and is as frustrated with you as you are with your buyer. It’s the nature of the process.
So, the answer is, it’s just harder to sell a house than it is to buy one. You’re worn down from being on the market and then the pain really starts. The important thing is to remember your goals and the purpose of selling your house. Yes, this part is painful, but it’s less painful than starting over and going back on the market. And most importantly, this buyer (however frustrating they may be), is allowing you to move forward with the next stage of your life.