FOCUS ON fatherhood
Local group supports young dads to make them better parents, partners
Sergio Bojorquez was 18 and had just graduated from high school when his 16-year-old girlfriend got pregnant.
Bojorquez, now 23, said the two weren’t completely unhappy about the pregnancy but knew as young parents they had a lot of obstacles to overcome. One of those obstacles, Bojorquez said, was that he didn’t know much about being a father.
“I knew I needed guidance,” Bojorquez said. “I had just graduated from Bernalillo High School.”
Bojorquez’s parents are still together and he wanted to provide the same type of stable home for his daughter Jaylah Bojorquez. He said one of his teachers recommended he connect with the nonprofit group Fathers New Mexico. The organization focuses on teaching mostly young fathers strategies and skills that will lead to a healthy relationship with their children and the mother of their children.
Johnny Wilson, executive director of Fathers New Mexico, said society does not necessarily support fathers in the same way it supports mothers when it comes to the family structure. He said it’s important for a father’s role to be just as active as the mother and for men to have amicable relationships with the moms. He said parenting works best when the two people are collaborative.
“We advise them that this is hard,” Wilson said. “You are going to be angry. You are going to be sad. But you need to learn to communicate respectfully.”
According to the group’s website, “FathersNM regularly witnesses the low expectations that many have of fathers (particularly young fathers). As segments of our society, mostly unwittingly, reflect pessimistic views of fatherhood they contribute to further father absence.”
“Really our objective is to support a positive concept of fatherhood,” Wilson said. “We want to make sure dads are valued and actual partners in raising their children.”
Fathers New Mexico was started in 2009 by Barry McIntosh to replace a similar program that had lost funding. McIntosh said the nonprofit group relies on funding from several sources including grants, the state and private donations.
“Fathers are a great resource,” he said. “We focus on the entire family, both parents.”
The group, Wilson said, also offers a space where young fathers can meet and connect with other men in similar situations, making it safer and easier to discuss their struggles. Wilson said in addition to offering courses, the men involved with the group