References do have value in hiring process
Dear J.T. & Dale: Why do employers do reference checks? It seems so pointless to me. Obviously, I’m only going to give them the names of people who will rave about me. I’d never let them talk to people who I thought would give me a bad reference. Thus, it seems like a waste of time. — Jaren
J.T.: Sadly, some people blatantly lie in interviews as a way to cover up a checkered past, and asking for references can help weed out the liars. Also, if you have a nice long list of people who want to do nothing but say great things about you, that means you’re more likely to be a good hire. Further, it’s a good reminder for job seekers of how important it is to keep up their professional reputations.
DALE: All true, but let’s not forget that the people doing the reference checking have brains, too. During the reference check they can ask questions like, “What would you say is Jaren’s biggest weakness?” or “What kind of people did he have trouble working with?” In other words, they offer the opportunity to do some critical analysis. That’s why you need to make your references into allies. You start by asking their permission to name them as references, and then you offer regular updates on your search. Warn them each time they might get an inquiry, and alert them if there are aspects of your career to emphasize. Help them help you, and it becomes a good use of everyone’s time.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My husband thinks I’m crazy, but I’m convinced my co-workers are having an affair. I have zero proof other than they used to hate each other and now they are really nice to each other. Is it OK to ask them? There’s a strict no dating policy at our company. I don’t want them to get in trouble, so I feel like I should tell them it’s noticeable. — Corine
DALE: I wouldn’t be so quick to reach a conclusion. I know that what you’re describing is the standard plot of rom-com movies. (Two people “meet cute” but can’t stand each other. Meanwhile, we in the audience soon realize that they are destined to be together, and how we love that we know they’re falling in love before they do.) While it seems to work in movies, I’ve never known it to work that way in real life. An alternative theory: One of them offered rapprochement, and they agreed to a fresh start in their business relationship. But, I have to stop offering suggestions, because J.T., former HR person, is bursting with need to jump in and go dark.
J.T.: Yes, I want to answer Corine’s question, and leave no room for romcom fantasies. The answer is NO, it’s not OK to ask. It’s none of your business. Their work isn’t suffering, is it? If they aren’t hurting the company, then it’s not yours to address. If they are dating and they get caught, it’s on them. They know the rules. However, if you ask and then suddenly they get exposed, guess who they’ll blame? Better for you to stay blissfully unaware to keep the peace and your reputation intact.
DALE: And I agree on zipping it, but I’m for you paying attention. First, there’s good old office intrigue, but also, you pay attention for the sake of office politics (which, as I will keep reminding everyone, is an important and useful career skill). If you’re right and they are falling in love, then one or both will start looking for a new job elsewhere. That might represent an opportunity for you. You might want one of those jobs, and so you’d want to start putting yourself in a position to be the logical replacement. Or, if theirs are not jobs you’d aspire to, there might be a piece of the job that you could take into your workload.
J.T.: And let us know how it turns out, because now you have us all curious as to whether this ends up a rom-com or a tear-jerker.