Is doing the right thing the wrong thing for my resume?
Dear J.T. & Dale: I took two years off to care for my sick mother, who recently passed away. I put it on my resume, and I showed it to a friend who works at a company I’d like to get hired at. She told me to
take it off because the HR department won’t hire me since I haven’t been working. Instead, she told me to put that I’ve been a contractor. I did do some freelance work while caring for my mom, but it was only a few hours each week. I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want employers dismissing me due to a two-year gap. What should I do? — Rocky
J.T.: I think it’s OK to keep on your resume the fact that you were the primary caregiver for your mom. This is becoming more and more common as baby boomers require care. It shows your loyalty and commitment to family. That said, I would also add the freelance work. You can list it as part time after the job title. At least it will show that you’ve kept up your skills while caring for a loved one.
DALE: Agreed, although I’d reverse the emphasis. It’s touching and uplifting that you cared for your mother, but your colleague has a point. A two-year stint away from the workplace does raise issues in the mind of the resume reader: Did this guy keep up on the latest industry trends? Is he really psychologically ready to reenter the workforce? Such questions cause many hiring managers to simply turn to other applicants. That’s why it’s useful to refer to the time as having been a contractor, freelancer or consultant. The beauty of these terms is that they are flexible. What do you have when you have one person who does five hours a week of consulting and another one who does 50 hours a week? Two consultants. But that very flexibility also creates doubts: Why wasn’t this person hired as a regular employee? Or, if truly self-employed, why quit? Was he failing? So, Rocky, by listing your employment as a contractor, then adding it was part time in order to care for your parent, you will have allayed fears, letting the HR person focus on your qualifications.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My boss is a total narcissist. He is impossible to be around. The good news is, he only shows up to the office half the time, so I only have to put up with him about 20 hours each week. That said, when he is here, he’s unbearable. He talks my ear off, and I get nothing done. The problem is, the pay is so good, I can’t get hired anyplace else for the same amount. He clearly overpays to keep people from leaving. I feel trapped. — Essence
J.T.: Focus on how you can skill-build while working for him. That will eventually let you close the pay gap and get hired someplace where you get paid the same and don’t have to deal with him. If he pays so well, then maybe he’d be willing to
pay for training courses and seminars that could upskill you. Once you get to a point where you can make what you are making now, you can focus on finding a boss who’ll help you step up to the next level and who you’ll appreciate working alongside.
DALE: It is my wish for everyone who reads this column that they find a gifted boss, the sort who raises your spirits and your prospects. Here’s the rub: Such bosses are 1 in 10 or maybe 1 in 20, and they rarely use the traditional job market. That means most people never have one. So, you’ll want to start asking friends and colleagues about the best bosses they’ve ever had, and learn to spot the good ones. Meanwhile, you have to make yourself worthy of such bosses, and that’s building your skill set. Doing so, you start to build up your escape velocity, which makes the process energizing.
Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a professional development specialist and the founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell. Dale Dauten resolves employment and other business disputes as a mediator with AgreementHouse.com. Please visit them at jtanddale. com, where you can send questions via email, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St., 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.