How to request a pay raise — and how not to

Dear J.T. & Dale: What’s the best way to ask for a raise? Should I get another job offer and go in and see if my company will counter, or should I just go in and ask for it and risk being rejected? -- Samuel

J.T.: I don’t advise pitting one employer against another. First, you’ll put your current employer in a compromising position. They’ll be caught off-guard and won’t want to lose you, so they’ll likely give you a raise. BUT, then, bitter for being held hostage, they will make sure

that they have a backup for you so this never happens again. In my experience, most people that pull that tactic are out of a job within a year.

DALE: To amplify that point, I pass along a cautionary tale from Tony Lesce of Albuquerque, about a colleague of his who thought she was “indispensable.” She insisted on a raise and her boss reluctantly agreed, saying the increase would start the following month. A month went by and the raise didn’t appear and when she asked about it, the boss said he’d changed his mind. Meanwhile, he’d found her replacement.

J.T.: Finally, if you take the counteroffer and stay, you’ll burn the bridge with the employer who offered you the job. Instead, I suggest going to your boss and sitting down and asking, “What has to happen for me to get a raise of $--?” By setting it up as a strategy session, you can work together to ensure he is getting what he needs in order to give you what you need. If he says he can’t offer you that raise, then you’ll at least know it’s time to look for a new job and be able to move on knowing there was nothing else you can do at your current employer.

DALE: I agree, except for going in with a specific dollar amount. I’d rather you said something like, “I’d like your advice on how I can make progress in my position, both financially and in terms of responsibilities.” That way, you might get a plan for promotions while you guide the discussion around to a raise. Before that conversation, make sure your timing is right -- that the company is doing well and the boss is feeling good -- and that you have a case for a higher salary. Researching the latter might mean seeking out opinions from colleagues and that may lead to a much better offer from another company, ending any

need to talk about a raise.

Dear J.T. & Dale: I like my job but I hate the office. It’s dirty and cluttered. I asked my boss if I could tidy things up, but he said it will only get messy again. I’m not sure I can stay much longer. The mess is driving me nuts. But, that seems like a crazy reason to look for a new job. I mean, how do I explain that to potential employers? When I told a friend about it, she said I’m lucky my boss isn’t a clean freak like hers and to count my blessings, but I just can’t. -- Jasmine

J.T. If a clean office matters to you and is bothering you that much, then I’d say look for a new job. Plenty of studies show that the environment you work in has a direct impact on your job satisfaction. While someone might love your situation, it doesn’t mean you have to. Your boss has made it clear things aren’t going to change -- and you can’t make him. So, I’d start finding a new place to work. I think a lot of employers will understand and appreciate your desire to work someplace clean and well-organized!

DALE: But, before you leave a position you otherwise like, you might want to remember that every job has its annoyances, and learning to tolerate them is a critical life skill. You’ll know you’re making progress on that skill when you can laugh about clutter, and when you encourage others to laugh at your tidiness obsession. Said another way, laughter is wisdom.

Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a professional development specialist and the founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell. Dale Dauten resolves employment and other business disputes as a mediator with AgreementHouse.com. Please visit them at jtanddale.com, where you can send questions via email.