Employee wrongfully accused of stealing office supplies
Dear J.T. & Dale: I was wrongfully accused of stealing office supplies. Someone sent an anonymous note to HR. I couldn’t prove that it wasn’t true, but
they couldn’t prove it was. My boss doesn’t like me much, so this gave her a reason to let me go. Now, I don’t know what to say on job interviews. — Jude
DALE: This is so offensive — an anonymous note? That’s so wrong, so weaselly that you must come out of this with a better job.
J.T.: Start by having someone do a reference check on you to see what the former employer is saying. If they are claiming you stole without proof, that would be grounds to get a lawyer involved. However, if they aren’t sharing the details and just saying you were fired and not eligible for rehire, then it will be on you to counter the mystery. I would say something like: “My boss and I didn’t connect well, and it was for the best that I moved on. Now, I’m looking for a place where I can leverage my skills and fit in. The last job taught me how important it is to get along with my boss and peers.” This will help them understand that you’ve learned from past experiences and they will benefit from it!
DALE: There is no way your former employer is going to admit on a reference check to firing you for some unsubstantiated charge. So you are free to create your own narrative. All we know for certain is that some unknown someone did the dirty on you. Why? Perhaps they were jealous. I’d go with that instead of talking about not getting along with your boss: Say something like: “I had a co-worker who felt competitive with me and tried to undermine me. So I’m looking for a place where people are truly a team.” And let’s hope that’s exactly what you find.
Dear J.T. & Dale: My son is going to be a senior in high school. He has good grades and can get into college, but he says he doesn’t want to go until he knows what for. He is very fearful of going into debt. We don’t have much money to help him, so he will incur a lot of debt. But my husband and I also know he won’t get a good-paying job if he doesn’t have a degree. How can I convince him to go so he can get the degree and figure out what he wants to do while earning it? — Kathi
J.T.: He is not alone. Lots of high school students today are upset with the incredible pressure being placed on them to get expensive college degrees and put themselves in debt over it. They know that the educational debt in the U.S.
is crippling. Why not let him go to the local community college and knock out a bunch of the common requirements all colleges want students to take? During that time, he’ll save money, can work part time and explore what he might want to study. Eventually, when he gains clarity, he can head to college full time. You should be proud of him! Many kids today are on autopilot and wrongly assume getting the degree is all they need to embark on a successful career. His desire to avoid debt and figure things out before investing is a sign of a thoughtful and intelligent young man who can think for himself!
DALE: Yes, work hard on selling him the idea of keeping a foot in each world, having a part-time job while going to college part time. The alternative, waiting on college till he works for a year or two, is too likely to result in his not wanting to give up the income to enroll. On the other hand, if he gets started taking classes, he’ll see that college isn’t intimidating; in fact, my guess is that he’ll fall in love with the energy of it, especially in contrast to that of his part-time workplace, and be eager to get to full time. Jeanine “J.T.” Tanner O’Donnell is a professional development specialist and the founder of the consulting firm jtodonnell. Dale Dauten resolves employment and other business disputes as a mediator with AgreementHouse.com. Please visit them at jtanddale. com, where you can send questions via email, or write to them in care of King Features Syndicate, 300 W. 57th St., 15th Floor, New York, NY 10019.