4 years later, the same advice
Four days after the 2016 presidential election, a column of mine ran that gave some readers comfort and others heartburn, if not feelings more incendiary.
The column, as you might have guessed, was about that election and how many of us — a majority of us, when referencing the popular vote — were trying to come to terms with the new American reality.
We were in shock, I wrote. We were in mourning and in fear over what would come next.
I offered 10 suggestions for the way forward, including to stand up against hate and prejudice, be respectful of those with different opinions, bring new voices into politics and vote out those who let us down, buy comfortable shoes for marches and rallies, breathe.
It was my attempt to soothe jittery nerves without sugarcoating what lay ahead and to seek some patience and understanding from those celebrating on the victorious side.
Judging from the responses I received, I failed to secure much in the way of patience and understanding.
“Perhaps you might consider spending more time in the bar,” one reader wrote, referring to a line in the column in which I unabashedly admitted spending the day after the election commiserating with a friend in a dark bar. “You can moan and mourn all you want there! Sure, suggest that your kind keep on marching, burning, destroying, hating. After all, that’s
what has been happening for eight years.”
Now that the Trump administration has ended, I decided to look back at that column and those comments to see what lessons, if any, we can glean from our thoughts four years ago as we head into whatever comes next.
What I found was a lot of irony and a lot of foreshadowing.
Reader Carolyn commented on the wrong way to deal with defeat — and wrong information.
“For one thing, Trump also won the popular vote, not just the Electoral College,” she wrote, erroneously. “I don’t care if you spend a day in a bar, but to blame it on not getting your way in the election is juvenile, irresponsible and unprofessional. That is what a 2 year-old would do — grab his bottle/thumb, cry foul and crawl off into a corner because he didn’t get his way.”
Yes, if only we all could learn to accept defeat graciously.
Jeffrey took offense to my suggestion about protests.
“I … am disappointed that you continue taking the low road, the easy road of inciting more protests rather than encouraging people to actually get a job,” he wrote, apparently confusing protests with riots, a common mistake. “Continuing to encourage people to take the low road via ongoing dissension does not bring the country together, it causes a further divide.”
Julia also questioned the wisdom of protests and fighting the outcome of an election.
“When Obama was elected, we accepted the results of the election based on the system which our forefathers established,” she said. “So if you want to waste your time by marching and rioting it won’t accomplish what you want.”
Cheri questioned who was the racist among us.
“Do you not see the prejudice that you exhibit when you say things like ‘We have to stand up for anyone being harassed due to their race.’ Really?” she asked. “So you just assume that the half of the country that voted for Trump now thinks that it is open season on people of color?” It did feel that way, yes. She added: “And if Trump tries to implement his more outrageous suggestions, I am guessing you will find many Republicans right out there in the protest lines with you.” It did seem that way, yes. Kevin — who called me a “hard leftist or Communist,” which I am neither — explained why he voted as he did: “I had the choice between putting a frat boy, womanizing cad in the White House versus a decided criminal with 40 years of scheming, deviousness, scandal, corruption, deception, manipulation, dirty politics, arrogance.”
Then there was John, who asked that we just give Trump a chance.
“Sure Trump is offensive and not presidential,” he wrote. “We just have to have faith that Trump will be an effective president and support what we can of his policies. And we do have checks and balances built in to our government, so let’s let it work.” Well, we did that, all right. Four years later, Trump remains popular among his diehard base and just as despised by those who believe he proved just as bad as they feared.
Did we learn anything? Only you readers and the writers of these comments can decide that. I’m still not sure there’s much patience and understanding, this time from the other side.
As we step into another new American reality, I offer again the list I published in 2016, particularly the last suggestion:
“Finally, be honest — with yourself and your kids. We don’t know if everything is going to be OK in our view of the world. We don’t know what happens next. We don’t know a lot of things we thought we did on Nov. 7. Sugarcoated words won’t change that, but maybe having a plan, a way forward, a purpose, can.”