Relationship a gift

“We were just 17, you know what I mean”…. yes, we were young and full of ourselves. The circumstance that brought us together was a wild unchaperoned high school party. I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.

Now here we are, 43 years later! How the heck have we made it thus far with our marriage intact?!

Thankfully, we have some common core basic values; like how we view God and the world. It didn’t start out that way (I tend to be a bit of a rebel) but I’m happy to say that people can change.

That’s another secret to our success; we have both been open to thinking outside our own boxes. Sometimes it has taken longer for one of us to wake up and realize we’re being closed and stubborn, but eventually God works His mysterious magic and speaks to our hearts. Being willing to change is key to a sustaining and vibrant love.

A sense of fun and a spirit of adventure has taken us a long way as well. Pete has always had the ability to make me laugh and in fact, that was one of the very first things that attracted me to him. I love change, trying new things and having adventures! In fact, that’s how we landed in New Mexico seven years ago! Pete has learned to embrace and partake in these shenanigans!

We have worked hard to identify our core differences and to allow them to be a gift rather than a hindrance to our love. Accepting a person where they’re at can be hard for us to do. But it’s an important lifeline to a lifelong love.

We’ve had our share of rough times. We have learned to say to each other, “You are not my enemy. This thing is the enemy” and to lock arms and face it together. This took us some years to learn.

We haven’t shied away from seeking help. Over our 38 years of marriage, we have been to counseling more than a handful of times. A counselor is objective, knows how to ask the right question at the right time and has a knack of stating things in a way you’ve never thought of before. You don’t have to be on the verge of a divorce to benefit from seeking professional help.

Lastly, we have mentored other couples. This has helped us work on our own stuff whilst helping others build a lasting love. Knowing we are involved and accountable to something bigger than us is magic!

We are thrilled to say our relationship is better and stronger than it has ever been. We know what a gift that is.