Have each other’s back
Our journey began in West Texas 1971. I was 17 working at a retail store, and I saw my future husband when he came by to meet me. He had been told there was a girl working there with the same last name. Sparks flew when he touched my hand, and fortunately still do to this day. We dated eight years before eloping to Las Vegas in 1979.
On I-40 driving through the canyon, we saw a breathtaking view of the New Mexico sunset and Albuquerque lights and something told us this would be a great place to settle. Left our U-Haul at a parking lot on Eubank, then on to the “We have only Just Begun” wedding chapel in Las Vegas. Returned to Albuquerque (our U-Haul was still here!) and began our 42 years of marriage — 50 years together — one son, one daughter-in-law, one granddaughter and many wonderful friends.
We have often been asked, “What is the secret to a long marriage?” My husband tells everyone, “We agreed divorce would never be considered!” He had experienced several stepfathers and was determined to not repeat that life. Life has not been easy by no means, but we knew we had each other’s back ... and learned to forgive — not always forgetting, ha — but definitely forgiving each other’s mistakes.
We tried not to go to bed mad, say things we could not take back, and found friends with good marriages who set the example and helped us. Our long engagement was also a factor — at 26 and 30 years old we were not kids, had enjoyed our single days, and we were ready to settle down. Not for everyone, but worked for us.
Advice: One cannot change your spouse or your family, so be sure you discuss and agree about religion, finances, kids, job goals and in-laws before marriage. Important to have common interests, but also have your own interests/ friends. Share in household responsibilities. Continue “date nights.” Be forever honest to each and hold hands a lot. Your faith and a little luck plays a big part, too. We are opposite souls in many ways, yet we have grown together as the years have flown by — still in love.