THE LIGHTER SIDE

God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Weather Channel reported the polar vortex that swept the U.S. is setting low temperature records this week all the way down to Houston. Windmills have frozen up, and homes are without heat. It’s so cold in Texas that men are going to strip joints just to have more clothing thrown to them.

Pope Francis hosted Ash Wednesday services on ■ live TV worldwide Wednesday as Christians began Lent. That day, a barefoot solicitor at Los Angeles airport accosted me on the sidewalk and asked me if I knew Jesus’ full name. I dropped my suitcase on his foot and he got all three right.

Donald Trump decided to rip GOP Senate leader ■ Mitch McConnell in a statement on Tuesday after McConnell decided to denounce Trump after the acquittal vote. It gave me a warm feeling. The greatest day of my life was when I discovered I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.