Man wants to avoid son’s in-laws
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a son, daughter-in-law and grandson. We moved to be closer to them and be part of their lives. The problem is, my husband dislikes our daughter-inlaw’s parents. He refuses to spend holidays or attend other activities where both sets of parents will be.
I don’t think the other parents or my daughterin-law are aware of his dislike. This leaves me feeling extremely sad. I feel this is his problem and not mine. I have no issues with the other parents. I feel I should be able to attend my grandson’s activities without him.
Neither our son nor our daughter-in-law knows how he feels, and I can’t say anything for fear that it will cause hurt feelings. — MOM IN THE MIDDLE
DEAR MOM: Relationships can be complicated. Not all families meld easily. It’s regrettable, but it’s also a fact. While it would be nice if your husband would be willing to make an effort to control his distaste so he could be included in more get-togethers, he has made it clear that he isn’t. Continue visiting with your son, DIL and in-laws when the opportunity arises. Let your husband “have other plans, be busy,” etc. If your son or DIL asks why your husband is absent so often, tell them to ask HIM.
DEAR ABBY: I am a male reader who was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for a number of years. I believed, as I was told repeatedly, that I was stuck in that situation for the rest of my life.
I am here today to say THIS IS NOT TRUE. It was just another manipulative lie from my abuser. I broke free, made a new life for myself and I am happy!
Please, Abby, tell your readers if they are experiencing abuse and feel stuck, to believe in themselves. They CAN have their lives back. They should reach out and not feel embarrassed. They can make this happen. — FREE AT LAST
DEAR FREE: Congratulations on reclaiming your life. As your letter illustrates, partner abuse can happen regardless of gender. Although the focus is usually on women, abuse also happens to men, straight and gay. The abuse can be physical, emotional or both.
An organization I have mentioned in this column before is Stop Abuse For Everyone (SAFE). It’s a support resource for abused individuals, regardless of age, race, gender or sexual orientation. Readers, to learn more about SAFE, visit stopabuseforeveryone.org.