Seeking dreamboat after putting their life on hold
Dear Annie: I’ve known my friend for nine years. We dated for about two years and then broke up. We were back and forth with each other, so we decided in 2016 that we would get married, but then we ended the relationship again. We remain friends.
Toward the end of 2019, “Edward” got seriously sick. He was so sick that he had two operations that left him with aches and pain, and loss of memory. He remembered things on a day-byday basis. He will never be able to go back to work; he’s disabled now.
I’ve been helping him out all this time, but now it’s time for his family to take over. I do everything for him because he doesn’t know how to do much anymore.
I advised his family that by the end of the year, I will not be helping him anymore and told them that they need to step up and come take over caring for him. Edward thinks that I’m wrong for this, but he doesn’t understand that I gave up my personal life to be there for him all these years.
For two years, my life has been on hold, and it’s time that I get my life back. He’s telling all his neighbors that I’m leaving him by himself and that he doesn’t know how he’s going to live without help. He needs 24-hour care.
It’s time for his family to help out. To be clear, there’s nothing between Edward and me. We’re just friends. I guess I felt sorry for him because no one else would come when he needed the help.
Please give me some feedback.
— Tired Friend in Vegas Dear Tired: Even though he’s not expressing it, Edward is incredibly fortunate to have someone in his life as compassionate and supportive as you are. Without you, he would likely have had a very different experience these last two years.
With his health deteriorating as quickly and severely as you’ve described, it sounds like the care Edward really needs is beyond what any one person can give him. Now is the time for his family to consider at-home aides or living care facilities equipped with resources and staff that can better and more easily provide for him.