Evolution revolution

Oh joy! Evolution is beyond question, or so we’re told. And I thought Piltdown Man was a fraud. Silly me.

Nebraska Man didn’t come from a single tooth of an extinct pig, and the Peppered Moth hoax really wasn’t one after all. Wonderful.

Ernst Haeckel must be smiling now that babies in the womb must pass through their evolutionary history: fish, salamander, turtle, chicken and rabbit. Evolutionists say so.

No doubt evolutionists have an eyewitness to the Big Bang. I can’t wait for his book to come out. I need help. Creationists assault me with testable science and I need a snappy comeback. They say that their eyewitness knows everything, never lies, and wrote a book about the origin of the universe that Moses later edited.

I’m in all kinds of trouble. The cosmic microwave background has a horizon problem. Albert Einstein said one-way light from a star is likely instantaneous. There are no monopoles in space, and physics says there should be.

Spiral galaxies exist, but would spin beyond recognition in less than a million years or so.

Every time I convert energy to matter, I get an equal amount of antimatter. Yet the Big Bang produced virtually no anti-matter.

Help me. I’m drowning in truth and I need more conjecture to prop up my faith in Charles Darwin. Reply soonest, please.

BOB L. WARNER Hot Springs Village