Retired man wants to sport ‘loud’ attire
Q. Recently, you cautioned a retired man against wearing “loud” clothes. Retired myself, I now like to indulge in “happy” clothes which my wife tells me are loud. What’s wrong with this? I have no one to dress for but myself.
A. Well, I guess you have a point. If you never go out of the house, it doesn’t matter what you wear. And if your wife’s (and probably your children’s) discomfort with your choices do not concern you, you are in the clear. But, as the psychologists say, you must have a few misgivings, or you wouldn’t be asking.
I can understand the man who never does care about how he looks. However I have never understood why men, who all throughout their business lives take pride in dressing well (traditionally and tastefully), would change. After recognizing the advantages of blues, grays, tans and other subtle colors, why do they suddenly decide in retirement to blossom into toobright colors and too-vivid patterns? I do know there are those — often, the same people who lobbied for dressdown Fridays — who have been desperately waiting to lose their so-called uniform.
May I suggest that you, at least, choose the times when you decide to break out and indulge yourself ? And, if it matters to you that it bothers your wife, why not learn exactly what she means by “loud”? Do you mix large plaids with other not-so-subtle patterns? Do you ignore the basic formulas of color coordination? Do you wear too much (or too large) jewelry? Do you make that quintessential mistake associated with “retirement dressing,” combining white shoes and a white belt?
An occasional light-colored (or even bright-colored) jacket, especially in warm weather or for weekend parties, can be a fun and welcome change, but “loud” clothes for social events suggests losing perspective.
DAMAGE CONTROL
Here are a few points to keep in mind, then:
If you’re wearing a rather loud shirt, wear an understated tie to help ground it.
If you want to add some personality to your traditional suits, wear an interesting tie — maybe a pocket square (but be sure they are not a matched set).
Sweaters! Layering can keep you warm and make you look good. Buy a few of the nicest sweaters you can afford. A V-neck has an advantage over a crew neck because you can wear a dress shirt better underneath it. Incidentally, they look younger and better than a grandfatherly cardigan. The two best places in a man’s wardrobe for him to indulge a desire for bright colors are ties and sweaters.
Looking and feeling relaxed is fine, but if you want others to feel comfortable when they’re with you, you might want to look at yourself in the mirror somewhat more objectively.
The truth is that retired men are not the only ones who make mistakes in how they dress. While attending Fashion Week these past few days, I observed more than a few looks on people attending the shows that made me wonder if they had checked themselves out in a fulllength mirror.
Several years ago, there used to be an “I-You-He” point-of-view game that went like this: “I am ‘consistent’”; “You are ‘stubborn’”; and “He is ‘a pig-headed mule.’” I sort of see your question as “I like ‘happy’ clothes.” “My wife sees them as ‘loud.’” “Could others perhaps see them as ‘garish’?”