The pre-approved debate

Hannity: Hi, I’m Sean Hannity and these are my fellow moderators, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh. Let’s get right to it. This first question calls for a show of hands. If you think America is the greatest country in the entire universe, raise your hand. (All hands go up except for Dr. Ben Carson’s.) Hannity: You disagree, Dr. Carson? Carson: (Inaudible) Hannity: I’m sorry, Doctor. Could you please speak up?

Carson: I said there’s a problem with the question. I would say America is the greatest country in the entire universe and any parallel universes. (All hands go up. Applause.)

Coulter: Mr. Trump, you have said you will build a wall to keep Mexican illegals out of the country and that you will make the Mexican government pay for it. The obvious question is: How high do you think that wall should be?

Trump: Good question, Ann. Here’s the good news: Mexicans are not very tall. That’s why you don’t see any in the NBA.

Limbaugh: This question is for Sen. Cruz. What’s your favorite color?

Cruz: It’s not one color, Rush. It’s three. Red, white and blue. (Thunderous applause.)

Limbaugh: What about you, Gov. Bush? Bush: Gosh, brown maybe. Coulter: Sen. Rubio, you’ve been described as young, handsome, virile, a powerful and attractive politician with great appeal to women voters. Rubio: What’s the question? Coulter: No question. Hannity: Sen. Paul, I’d like to try a word association exercise with you.

Paul: First I want to address something very important that was discussed earlier. Cyan. Hannity: Pardon? Paul: That’s my favorite color. Hannity: Let me try this with you, Mrs. Fiorina. When I say Obamacare, what’s the first word that comes to mind?

Fiorina: A failed socialist experiment that was forced down the throats of the American people, which has resulted in thousands of lost jobs, extreme tornadic activity in the Southwest and a tenfold rise in skin eruptions.

Coulter: Gov. Kasich, when Hillary Clinton goes to prison for her Benghazi crimes, you just know there’s going to be a hue and cry from the liberal media to pardon her. Will you? Kasich: In Ohio, we’ve lowered— Coulter: What about you, Gov. Christie? Christie: Hell no, I wouldn’t pardon her. I’d make sure she served every day of her sentence.

Fiorina: I’d also deny her visitors and reduce her food intake to water and dog kibble.

Hannity: That’s all the time we have. I want to thank all the candidates for participating in tonight’s debate.

Bush: You know what? I think I may prefer beige.