Grill Party’s platform

As the election continues to draw closer, not to mention more contentious, I would like to present more issues which the Grill Party believes important.

First, is there some reason that lane stripes on our roads cannot be painted with a paint that can be seen at night when the roads are wet? It seems that safety and common sense would dictate being able to notice whether or not one is staying in their proper lane. Surely we possess the technology and the ability to develop a paint that can be seen at night in the rain.

The party also advocates for increased fines for those who for whatever reason cannot park their vehicles in one parking spot but must encroach into the spots adjacent. I have noticed up to four parking spots being claimed by vehicles that could easily fit into one. Lack of courtesy does not even begin to describe these transgressions.

A public-awareness education campaign is being devised to get across the simple message that people wanting to get on an elevator should wait for those inside to get off, thus making the experience easier and more enjoyable for all. Simple physics should explain that it is easier to enter an empty space than bang against those trying to exit. Repeat after me—Step Back, Wait, then Enter. Not too difficult, and only one word over one syllable in the phrase.

Remember, the Grill Party Non-Solicitation Committee reminds you that the party will never solicit donations. Accept yes, but solicit no. And, as always, keep in mind the party slogan—Slow Down and Grill. DAVID KELLEY

Fort Smith